Dear World

Dear World,

I've learned a lot about you over the past few years, but I'm not sure what to think of you yet. There is so much beauty, yet so much hurt and pain; I don't know whether to admire you, help you, or run and hide altogether. You've scarred me deeply, but it's our pains that form our passions.... and it's our passions that define who we truly are.

Justice was my best and pretty much only friend growing up. He didn't care if I was Mr. goody two shoes or the rebel child I really was deep down. I was a blank slate and he picked up the chalk and left his mark all over me; from his interest in reading, to his love of the outdoors. I'd learned to love it all too. I was the polite, reserved teenager who preferred the indoors and he was my crazy outdoor adventurer. He'd drag me outside and we'd share wild adventures together. Despite being opposites, we were a perfect match.... anyone would say so.

As the years passed, his family moved away. We kept in touch through email although he was never a tech-savy individual. Having to decipher messages of typos and fragments always made me laugh. Emailing went steady at first, but then sank into a few months of silence until one day I received a rather unusual message.

The email had a few picture attachments of him and some girl whom he introduced as his new girlfriend. Every detail seemed to nag at me, his arm around her waist, the genuine smile, the way they leaned into each other; it hurt more than I could bare. For two months I bottled up my thoughts as we continued to email until one day I just couldn't take it anymore.

On November 13, 2017 5:30 PM, I came out to my best and only friend.

Ever since, the world has never been quite the same. He thanked me for telling him and said that I needed to get that out of my system, but it never did... He told me he was happy with his new girlfriend and that "him and I" would never work out.

To this day, I write him almost every night... I never send any of my letters, instead, I write them all out on paper and keep them beside my bed. I write memories, pains, hopes and regrets. I let him know how I'm doing and how much I miss him... but he'll never know how deeply I still care for him...

Dear World,

I've learned a lot about you over the past few years, but I'm not sure what to think of you yet. There is so much beauty, yet so much hurt and pain; I don't know whether to admire you, help you, or run and hide altogether. You've scarred me deeply, but it's our pains that form our passions.... and it's our passions that define who we truly are.