my feelings toward you.....

The tears just keep coming they are never ending no one to comfort me while I die inside I'm not me anymore so why be here and pretend to be someone I'm not? I'm so good at faking a smile now nobody knows that I'm dead INSIDE and just waiting for the outside to die with it....maybe when it does things will be easier for you...maybe I'm doing a favor for both of us....guess i just wanted to say bye....I love you......

Once in awhile I'll sit down and think about all the good,funny memories that we have together and laugh at all the things we did and said.....all the late night conversations we had when we couldn't sleep and  the movies we watched together and then I'll run to go call you but then I feel a tear roll down my cheek as I remember that your gone and I'm never going to hear your voice again and that we are never going laugh together and take midnight trips to Wal-Mart or stay up all night watching movies together and then that one tear turns into dozens.....I sit and go through your stuff, holding it and remembering.....but I always know that you loved me and gave me all you had with what you had and that you always made the best of situations and that you stayed strong while everyone else was weak,well dad this is my turn to stay strong and make the best out of this situation.....I love you daddy 5/15/76-4/1/14

Sometimes I  get so aggravated because I can't understand why he had to take you away from me, it's not like he needs you,I need you not him so why did he take you! Am I being punished for something I did???I just don't understand I'm tired of crying over it I just want you back I would give anything.....

Dear Sabrina,

I'm writing this because it not good to keep your feelings bottled inside.I just want you to know that you are the most selfish person I know.I say this because you knew that the things that you and my father were doing was wrong,you knew they could kill him, you knew that eventually someone was going to find out and take us from him,and instead of stepping up and volunteering to go stay at your moms so we could stay with dad you didn't say anything, which is the reason we never got to see him. your also selfish for putting your own kids through the stuff that you do. And your last name IS NOT I repeat NOT feilds nor will it ever be. When my dad died it was said he was planning on leaving you. You don't deserve to have anything of his. where were you when he was in the hospital? Oh yeah that's right in jail like you always are! Anyway I guess that's all the feelings. Bye