Dear World,
I am just a girl. I fell in love when I was 12 years old. I just didn't know it. I met a girl with pretty blonde hair and sad blue eyes with too much black makeup and I didn't stop thinking about her until I turned 15. I didn't know what it meant at the time. I all but gave up when she finally told me she liked me too. I got my dream girl when I was 15. And she broke my heart when I was 17. I didn't really know myself until then. Until I had to pick up every shattered piece of myself and discover what makes me who I am.
I am chaos. I am perfect organization. I am late night phone calls. I am screaming matches with my family. I am cuddling in the cold. I am ice cream in 30 degree weather. I am pastels in the summer. I am blue lights and soft music. I am baking at 4 in the morning. I am half frozen ice cubes and the sound they make when you bite them. I am the sun shining in the rain. I am random kisses. I am sleeping with no pants and two comforters. I am the numbness that follows grief. I am the necklace my best friend never takes off and my tee shirt hiding under my ex girlfriends pillow. I am crying at the end of happy movies but never sad ones. I am my 4 sisters and I crushed together on a 3 person couch. I am a half burnt cigarette on a fall night. I am the look in peoples eyes when they are in love. I am 2 Mike's Hard Lemonades and watching Rick and Morty even though I hate it on a week night. I am 3 cups of coffee before class. I am the silence of a broken car radio. I am the sensation of falling. I am three dogs in my bed at night. I am the broken look in the eyes of the abused. I am chain smoking then not touching a cigarette for a month. I am selfishly demanding all of your attenuation. I am selflessly making my self small for someone else. I am shoulder kisses and afternoon naps. I am half hearted good byes and enthusiastic hellos. I am uncontrollable anger and harsh words. I am the apology that follows them. I am the sensation of flying and the terror of drowning. I am going to sleep at 5 A.M. next to my best friend. I am tears and sharing life stories. I am random facts. I am first meetings and last good byes. I am the feeling of falling in love. I am everything and nothing.
I am just a girl who dreams of marrying a girl who loves her. I am just a girl who dreams of having children with sciencey names and endless smiles. I am just a girl.
Love,
@threepiecedream
