Poems

Thinking

There is this thing going on right now

A trend that I see reposted time and time again

If I died, the world would still turn

The rivers would still run

The stars would still shine

The grass would still grow

If I died, everything would remain the same

So why stay?

No

No

You can't think like that

No good can come of that

The Earth may continue on its rotation

But your world would crash into the sun

Think about it

Imagine this

Your mom drives down the highway

She takes her eyes off the road

Tears streaming down her face

As she looks at the bowling alley down the way

You had your 5th birthday there

And she wishes she could go back in time again

A honk pulls her out of her memory

A crash, out of her life

Your father shakes with grief over the fact that 

HE NEVER SAW

He never saw how much they were hurting you

How much you were hurting yourself

He drinks to keep the pain at bay

He drinks to hide the anguish deeper into his eyes

He lost his job last week

Now he's trying to make do

But it's not enough

He's not trying hard enough

Lost is he, drowned in the bottle

Not even trying to climb out

Your older brother sits alone in the dark corner of his room

The door to the hallway cracked open

Phantom children race down the way to the kitchen

A diaper wrapped around you, feet pounding the wood

His arms stretched out, ready to grab your waist

Old enough to want company, but still young enough to for it to be you

His grades are slipping

A pillar of the community sulks to the back alleys

He can't sleep at night

He shoots up to scare away the nightmares

All he can do now is sit and wait

Wait until it's his time to go

Your younger sister sits on her bed at night

She's only five

Princess and pirates clash in her mind

She waits for someone to tuck her in

To pull the blankets up to her chin

To kiss her forehead and check for monsters under her bed

But she doesn't understand that the monsters of this world

Live on the streets, in the café, in the manors, in the head

So what now? 

Now that you've torn up lives around you

As you watch from wherever you end up

Because more than one life has been taken

Sure some people may still live, 

But they're not alive 

That's why you stay

Because, even though someone has fucked up your day

You light up someone else's

It WILL get better

Maybe not soon

But if you have faith and hold on and grasp the life you're living

It will

Believe me

Because I've been in the same boat