Torture Me: Book 3

1. No Mexican Pizza

     The purid smells of stale lunch meat and soggy green beans greeted me at the cafeteria door. It reeked of greasy cheeseburgers, Mexican pizza, and recycled Chicken Tenders. I looked around the gang of football players and cliques of cheerleaders to see the salad bar. I spotted a single box of Grilled Chicken and almost jumped to get to it. I swiveled around the counter and grabbed the tray right before another hand could. My eyes traveled up the hand of my component and I quickly look away.

  "Guess it's Mexican pizza then,"he said with a coy smirk.

     I chuckle and feel my palms sweat,not wanting the salad tray to fall from my hands I clench the box tighter with two hands. "Yea, sorry I know that can be a bummer," I smile automatically touching my hair and patting it down. "I mean look at the grease on those things."

  His lips purse into a toothless smile. He laughed a bit and then looked at me and as quick as ever I move my eyes once again. "You're pretty funny, Stephanie. It was nice seeing you." His hands touch the brim of my shoulder and he pats it, he smiles yet again and walks over to the pizza line.

     I pay for my food at the register and meet cold chocolate eyes. I put a single strand behind my ear and look at him as he frowns. "What were you doing talking to Ashton?"

  "Relax, it's not like he's one of my groupies. I mean you've made that impossible,might I add."

     "Were you flirting with him?"

  I watch his beaty browns gaze into my soul as I turn into the lunch room,heading for my table. I pass by Ashton and he stops me. "Care to sit here?"

     I want to say yes but I can feel the way Ethan is watching me and I know it'll end out in a war that I'm to weak to fight. "Maybe another time," I sigh. He nods and I turn on my heels,the bright view of Felicia and Audrey's smiles leading my way. I can feel him behind me and I shift around to face him. "Stay away from him," he commands in a monotone.

  "Ethan," calls a familiar female voice behind us. We both turn and meet Melissa. She looks confused and upset and I don't blame her. Ethan has that effect on almost every girl he controls. "Aren't you gonna sit with us?" she asks with a poked out lip. Her hair is in neat little curls that fall on her breast and she's standing like any other girl of Ethans would. Vulnerable.

  "You have groupies to get to, so if you'll excuse me." I say turning for my table. I sit down and drench my salad in ranch dressing,  adding the toppings to it, and mixing it all around. "What's in his ass," Audrey jokes.

     I shrug and take a huge bite of lettuce. Everyone is at there familiar spots, so it seems that nothing has changed since last year. The television and muisc is on which I never got because you can't hear the tv while Taylor Swift is screaming "we are never ever ever getting back together," on the speakers. I look over at Ashton who's sitting with a bunch of his guy friends. I can't help but to notice how cute he is, and as quick as I thought it I realized he could hear it.

  Ethan never missed a beat when it came to my mind, and although he swears he hasn't altered my thoughts I know he has. I don't even bother to look at his table because I already know the jealously that comes from it. "So are you and Ethan a thing," Felicia asked. "Because I still don't get it."

     "It's...," I began.

  "We know, " says Audrey "it's complicated. That's what you always say."

     "Well it is," I huff. "I want to tell you guys but right now I just can't, besides, I don't even know where me and Ethan stand."

  Audrey looks up from the sandwich she's eating and frowns. Part of me knows what's she's about to say before she's going to say it but beating her to it won't even matter. "Since freshman year you two have been complicated.  I don't understand. I'm tired of seeing you hurt."

     "I'm fine," I lied. "I'm happy the way things are...its not like I need him."

  "I just hope maybe he comes to his senses," added Felicia. "He's so busy up Melissa's ass he doesn't realize he has someone greater then her."

     I took a huge chug on my drink and burped quietly I excused myself and reached for the apple on my tray. "We aren't together. We're more like brother and sister." Saying that made me feel a lot better about our shit of a relationship. At the end of the day I knew where Ethan would be, and I knew he'd always be protective over me just like a brother would. As I told myself years ago Ethan and I will always be the opposite of what we should be and I learned the hard way that'll never change, according to Ethan and his actions.

  Silence fell over the table and my mind just keep going back to it being senior year. I'd graduate, go to college and get away from Ethan and everyone else who walked over me like a doormat. The future is right ahead of me so close I can feel it, and taste it.

     Audrey looks behind her back and turns back to face us. "I think Jace wants me. I'll be back."

  We both take turns saying okay, and I watch her as she walks away. I can see Ashton coming over to throw his trash away and when he catches a glimpse of me he heads towards our table. Felicia smirks while getting up, claiming she needs to use the restroom.

     "Hey, Steph. I was wondering if you're not busy doing anything Friday would you like to come to see The Fault in our Stars together?"

  "Romance, huh?" He nods and gives me that mischievous, but coy smirk of his.

     "I heard the book was good," I add. "Sure why not? I'm free you're obviously free, let's go cry our eyes out," I said.

  He smiles and shakes his head chuckling lowly as he stands up. "You haven't changed a bit. I'll pick you up at six."

     I nodd and watch as he sits back at his table going back into a conversation with his friends. I finally gain the energy to want to throw my trash away and as I do I see Ethan glaring at me. I began to remember how dates tended to make Ethan feel. I could never understand him, his love slash hate slash emotions slash whatever he felt for me. Part of me knew he cared on a level of ways but the way he treated me like some "option" really got under my skin.  Since we've been bonded all he's done is tell me how to live and what to do.

  If you leave that house Friday you'll regret it.

     Get out of my head, Ethan.

  Make me Steph.

     I completely ignore him and go back to my table to sit. I notice Felicia is back as well as Audrey and she brought Jace along. A few more minutes later lunch is over and I'm on my way home ,the place where Ethan controls me the most.

  He had his hair messily tousled on his head. Years ago Ethan didn't look like he was a french model for Hollister. He was my freckled shy boy who didn't have it after himself to ruin my life. As I stare at him I can't help but feel safe and content. This is as good as it gets between us. This is as close as he ever lets me in.

     "Your're disobeying my rules. "

  "Rules," I shouted. "Rules? The rules you're not entitled to? The rules you can break. The rules that I have to abide by. Forget your rules, I think it's time I've looked for someone who actually wants me."

     "You know it's not even like that. You know how this is for me."

  "Do I Ethan? Do I really? You're such a jerk."

     " Okay, maybe I am. But you're not going on that fuckin' date. Steph." He was heated I could feel his anger come off in waves as it hit me. "If you do...God help me you'll regret it."

  "Then," I said. " I guess i'll just have to regret it."

"Steph, I mean it," he gritted and I knew he did. But I walked away with a evil grin and I felt his heart thump againts his ribs with anger each step I took.