It's going to be okay!

Title: It’s going to be okay

Length: One-shot

By: Cheeky_Leen

Song: We Are The Fallen – Sleep Well My Angel

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Everything always begins with one word, one statement. It could be the simplest thing like ‘Do better’ but it was enough to break Robin, enough to push him away from everyone else and lock himself inside the darkest corner of his dorm room, for hours upon hours. He would sit there punishing himself for even the smallest mistakes, he feels everyone was better than himself, whatever he did it was never good enough. The voices inside his head constantly screaming and raging at him that he needs to be nothing but perfect, but he forgets that to be prefect is impossible turning a deaf ear and only opening to the voices and laughter that tells him that he’s just not good enough.

He seeks the comfort, he seeks the pain to punish himself for not doing well. Constantly hurting himself, slicing at his skin to give him the wakeup call, to wake him up from this imperfect dream he was living in. He cuts himself open, everywhere where no one could easily spot them allowing the pain to remind him that he must be better – no, he must be Perfect. He craved comfort, he knew that those around him loved him, but what’s there to believe when the constantly mock him, feeding him negative thoughts. What good are they to him when all they do is discourage him, they don’t believe in him and would never understand what he feels. Why? Because they never could. Because he lived in the lonely cruel world by himself, though every night those strong arms wrap around him, lips that never forget to meet his and eyes that give him the comfort he craved for, that show him that he shouldn’t forget that he was loved.

There had always being something different about Jonathan, where everyone taunts him where ever he go, Jonathan was always there by his side kissing at his every skin, helping to pushing him to keep going, he completes him. But little by little the voices over powered the undying love Jonathan couldn’t help but give him, pushing him away from the older. He couldn’t pull away from the damaging words that the voice throws, they were hurtful and they continue to hit him every, single, day. On many occasions has he screamed to the older that he felt he couldn’t make it, that they couldn’t make it, but Jonathan was persistent, he believes that they had a future in front of them, were they would get married as soon as they were done with school and adopt as many kids as possible. He would kiss at his skin every night and talk about their future all Robing could do was stare at his lover and listen to his soothing voice which would eventually get drown by the hurtful voices.

He sat in his maths class, feeling the frustration that radiates off his teacher who was trying at many occasion to help the boy but he just couldn’t get it, he couldn’t understand why and he hated it. He tried so hard to do the works but it was just difficult and the constant voices that tells him how stupid he is never helps “You’ll be fine” Jonathan’s warm voice whispered in his ear, rubbing at his tense shoulders. In the end his stayed after dorm hours, go over ridiculous amount of equations and reading through multiple textbooks, but no matter what he did nothing seemed to stick in.

He woke up the next morning, wincing as the bed sheets stuck to his thighs, looking to see the drips of red on the cream coloured sheets. He jumped in shock as one of his ‘friends´ popped his head through his room door, smiling at the wide eyed boy but his smile soon disappeared as he noticed the stained sheets “There’s blood stains on your bed” the guy half whispered, half shrieked. He hushed the boy, trying to get him to get out but was easily ignored as he let himself into the room closing the door behind him, pulling at the sheets he tried to get up wincing at the pain on his thigh so he could hide the scars from the male, but the gasp that left the boy’s lips showed that he had being too late ‘Fuck’ he mumbled running from the room and into the bathroom.