Heartbreak and Amends

Chapter 1: Heartbreak

So, this is the first time i am doing one of these and i can't say its not slightly weird because i would be lying. Anyway, why am i writing this? Because i have to, I have to tell you all who the real me is and what i have lost and gained. So it all started when i was in my first year of High School, i developed a crush on an amazingly gorgeous girl but i had hid my feelings for her for a long damn time. Some of you may know who that girl is. I did tell her eventually that i had liked her for a while and things were alright between me and her for a while, i got her some stuff for Valentine's day in 2016 and she liked them. That exact day i thought i was going to have my happy ending for the first time in my life, she asked me to lunch (I said yes, obviously) And it was probably my best Valentine's day ever, we bonded, i told her a lot of things that no one else knows about me. Then, people started to find out about us and the pressure was killing me. People asked questions, jumped to conclusions and judged the friendship/relationship between me and that girl. I GOT SICK OF IT AND I SNAPPED!! There was a guy in school who then started calling me a stalker but i didn't bother with him. Later in the year, i started talking with the girl again, i slowly earned her trust back but i made sure that everyone knew there was nothing between us but of course people didn't see it that way. Yea, i still loved the girl to death but i never told her until S2 but i knew we couldn't go back to how things were so i just dropped it, there was no more chances for me and her.

I then started crushing on another beautiful girl. Be prepared for this to get a little more depressing. So, this all happened in the space of a few months. I had told my best friends that i liked this girl and they knew who it was straight away, i didn't know if i made the right decision at the time but now i know that i did. This girl, i was sure i was gonna have a shot with because we had a lot of things in common but of course i went and got my hopes up (AGAIN!) She said if me and her were meant to be together then things would happen. Well, things happened and i said to her "I think we were made to be together" But she thought it was awkward when i said that and i blew my chances with her.

I know that I'm a pain in the ass a lot but if you think that then tell me, don't just sit there and judge me because when you do that it hurts me (A LOT!) You may not see that but it really does. I wanna shout out to the world and scream "C'MON WORLD, IF YOU WANNA THROW MORE BAD THINGS AT ME THEN GO AHEAD"

There is still so many things i have to write on this but for now, I'm gonna leave it here because its starting to get to me a little, thank you for reading this.....