Heartbreak and Amends

Chapter 2: Lost

I have lost a lot of people, i have lost a lot of things but the one thing i have lost most is Love. Love is a fire in you that apparently can never be put out but for me that fire has been put out many of times and I'm getting really fed up with it. At the start of 2017 i got into something i shouldn't have. I got into something i thought was a relationship with a fifth year pupil in my school, i thought that girl actually cared for me, i thought that girl actually loved me but turns out i was just too blind to see that i was just being used and manipulated into doing things i didn't want to do. I did a lot of things for this person but deep down i didn't want to do any of those things, I wanted to be free of her spell. A few months before the fake relationship started i asked the girl "Are you really friends with my sister?" and she said "No. I'm just using her just like she used me" I'm sorry but since when was standing up for yourself using somebody?! I didn't say anything to my sister because i was afraid and i didn't want to hurt her or lose her trust. Didn't matter what i would've done i would lose my sister's trust anyway. As soon as the fake relationship was found out by EVERYONE, i was broken. I didn't know what to do or who to go to, all i knew is that i had let my family down. I had let my father down. I had lost a lot of love, a lot of people but that didn't bother me, the only thing that bothered me was that MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD found it extremely difficult to trust me and if it wasn't that, they didn't trust me at all. I had ruined my family's name. I had ruined my father's legacy. I realised that i couldn't  fall into any more traps, i had stand my ground and fight for my family's trust back.

For a few months everything was going so well until someone i didn't trust, someone i hated sent me a message request on FaceBook/Messenger. This guy had insulted my father multiple times and i swore that if i ever heard from him or seen him, i wouldn't hold back on anything. This guy had hurt my sister, insulted my family. I didn't care that he insulted me but when it's my family. I become someone else. I become something else.  My words to him were BRUTAL, I'm not gonna say any of them here because i was more than angry but i'll put something in just to give a hint on all the things i said "If i see you ever again near my sister, you will regret that you even met me or my family" So, did people find out about that? Yea, they did. Because i told them that i was starting to break again. My family had saw that i was on thin ice with myself and i needed them more than ever. 

Not only were my family there for me but my closest friends were too and too were my teachers. Before, i thought everyone was just ignoring the fact that i had broken and i needed help but the reason why they were silent was because they were afraid of what i had turned myself into. I looked in the mirror every morning and i saw nothing but an emotionless monster, i needed to change and i needed to change fast. 

I am grateful to have my family and friends.

However this story is not yet finished....