You know I hate myself
I loathe the person I am
Every imperfection, every line of
Pain
I hate the simplicity of my existence
I hate the nail polish that has been eaten off
You say that I am beautiful in every way
But if u saw me the way I see myself,
Your heart would shatter into a million pieces of disappointment
I want to run free and lose myself
I want to die with the wind and be born with the sun
I want happiness without the price of loss
I want all him to live me for who I am, not who I paint
But disappointment is what I receive in a small package once I do get happiness
I think we all walk around with an attitude
It's all the same
When you look at me, you see yourself
Happiness is over rated they say
Happiness is the allusion created by the use of drugs and alcohol
This is me
The walking doll with imperfections at every curl
We live with the misery of always screaming at ourselves to eat less and lose more
We compare ourselves to Barbie who falls head over heels
I beat myself till it starts to feel like nothing
I am worthless and stupid
I want to escape and runaway
One day I tell myself
Now I'll close my eyes to the music of the sleeping pills taking over
Because it feels like they are worth it
They give me the feeling of nothing and they become addicting because nothing feels better that the depression and the sadness filled with tears and unhappiness under the shower head
By: Anastasia Lyreman
