A Girl Just Being A Girl

Prog

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Nia" when are you going to come out of that room?!! My mother Reanee said stressed on the other side of my bedroom door.

At the moment I was just laying down on my Queen size bed letting my life pass by. Sadly that's all I did.

Stayed cooped up in the house all day, eat, and dream these successful fantasies of me making it to the music industry. Same routine everyday. I only came out to eat other than that I just stayed in my room.

I'm 5'7 and over 180 pounds which makes my life a whole lot worse. Apparently every girl is supposed to be short and slim to boost a boy's ego or a man. In my opinion if the love is geuine should height even matter just looks in general should it matter?

I know half of you who are simple minded are going to be like "Oh my God yesss short girls winning. Don't no boy want to be with someone who is ugly, tall and heavy weighted!"  All my life I've heard that statement over and over. Can't believe I listened to it now it's a reminder of my everyday life. Officially embedded in my head.

If your a girl and your lost between society's rules and just being you keep reading and hopefully it will give you the courage to be just you. Your more beautiful that way anyways.

Well then I feel bad for y'all honestly. If anything a mature boy wants a girl who is kind hearted but tough skinned. Someone who is like his mother most of the time because I know there's a few dead beat mom's.

A girl who is smart and not afraid to speak her mind. Every boy likes a challenge and if he doesn't he's insecure and has not reached his maturity yet. No boy wants a easy girl. A boy wants a girl who is independent and does not need him for every little thing. Every boy  likes a chase for some odd reason. 

Girls if I'm right we should live the way we want to. If a boy can't accept you then that's the door right?

I know I may seem all powerful in my words right now but in reality it is a whole different ball game. Your just witnessing my knowledge that stays locked up in my mind.
I know I just spoke alot of truth but my words are overlooked in the real world.

I am a shadow in the darkness . I am underestimated to the max which makes my self esteem decrease. I am the girl who stays behind the scenes but sees and hears everything.

Music is my only way of being free from all the pressure and stress I'm under. I know your wondering like what could a sixteen year old possibly be stressed about? Well this sixteen year old stresses about any and everything possible. 

I stress about impressing everyone but myself. I stress about not looking how other people want me to look. I look for everybody's approval except mine and it leaves me emotionally and physically drained.

So I drown myself in music, food, and sleep to fade away from society's demands and my families obligations. I know your like well why don't you talk to your family about your issues. Well there's only so much you can say to a person who doesn't understand your pain and cries.

"I wanna be alone mom, I don't really feel like doing anything today!" I yelled back to her from my bedroom.

"But that's everyday munchkin, your always sitting in that dark room. I'm starting to think your depressed hun."

"That's because I am" I whispered to myself looking towards my ceiling.

I don't really have the motivation or determination to do anything because all my efforts and dreams were shot down. Nobody believed I could make it.

So I just gave up, I stopped dreaming. I just stopped believing.

What's good people my name is Nonnie if you enjoyed this piece of work than make sure to like and comment.

Give feedback no matter if it's bad or good. Be cautious though I am a artist and I'm sensitive about my sh*t.

Sorry if I made any mistakes but if I don't make any mistakes how can I improve? If there's something wrong with my book by all means speak your mind. I take respectful criticism.

Thank you for reading.👏😏🤧

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