First order of buissness. Are. You. A. Failure. If not, get out while you can, cause if you thought you had were at the bottom of the barrel already when you entered the world of Phanfic, oh honey, that barrel had a fucking casam beneath it, and at the bottom of that casam lies the HQ of 'the bottom of the pyramid club,' (BPC for short because TBOTPC is too damn long, that's what she said he he he...) So,in order to protect the successfull from my terrible spelling and shitty jokes, i have compiled a list of questions for you to see if you truly are a failure.
1) There's a new person at school, work, college or wherever the fuck you go in life, do you :
A) Go up to them and say hi and get to know them and stuff.
B) whatch them from afar, and sigh blissfully whenever they walk past.
C) Stalk them on social media and write fanfic about them in a cuboard or some dark corner somewhere.
2) You see a mountain of dishes on the kitchen counter. Do you:
A) Do them. ( that's what she said )
B) Wait for someone else to do them.
C) Print out a pic of the bottom of a sink and place it on top.
3) Your staying at a friends house and they give you fridge privellages, do you:
A) Be respectfull and only eat what yu need to.
B) Smuggle some chocolate into your bag and eat it quickly under your duvet in the middle of the night.
C) Roast a chicken, boil some veggies and make your self a roast dinner. ( And don't share😉)
4) You had a fight with your girl/boy friend,you broke up and now they want you back, do you:
A) Tell them you love them, fall into their arms and suck their damn face off.
B) Give them your grumpiest scowl, but eventually relent.
C) Open your door to them, give them a nipple cripple and shout " OH HELL NAH BITCH!"
5) One of your relatives is homaphobic and your stuck with them at a family reunion or birthday of some celebrational shit,do you:
A) Avoid the subject entirelly, and nervously laugh at their homophobic jokes.
B) Subtly hint that maybe their wrong and they should get into the 21st century, IT'S 2018 PEOPLE, GET WITH THE PROGRAMME!
C) Show up with two people of the same sex under your arm, and invite them to a pride event.
( I did NOT mean to be offensive in any way, your buissness is your buissness and if you love two people then congrats on finding love, us faiures generally struggle with that these days, am I right? )
Total up your results and find out wether or not you've fallen down a casam,holding onto the edge, or if you've just cleared it lile fucking Spiderman.
MOSTLY A'S
Escape while you can Spiderman.
MOSTLY B'S
You're neither good nor bad YET, so shimmie up the side of that casam before fate changes it's mind.
MOSTLY C'S
CONGRATULATIONS!! YOU'RE A SHITTY PERSON! Have fun in your life of shame and humiliation you badass fronkle shmurk, you fell down that casam before you were even born you failure. Welcome to the club partner in failure.
Follow me and keep up with the weekly updates, and welcome to the BPC bitches xx
Yours terribly,
Teddy
YOU ARE READING
The Bottom Of The Pyramid Club- a guide to being a failure.
HumorONLY FAILURES ALLOWED. You may be wandering what this is, i'm just a random person,in a random place, with a shamefull and crazy mind. Anyway,i'm just here to let you know you're not the only one who thinks really weird stuff and isn't confident eno...
