I’ve never quite fit in with the rest of the people here. In this town, everything and everyone fits together so perfectly. People-watching most of my adolescent life has led me to the conclusion that much of what goes on around here seems like something out of a movie. Perfect little families in their perfect little dining rooms on a perfect little summer night, eating their perfect little dinners, with their perfect little smiles plastered on their perfect little faces. And I know, you're probably wondering how the fuck I even know about all of this perfect little this and perfect little that, but I only know because I've actually seen it with my very own two eyes. Late at night, I go out. You would think someone so young ought to be scared wandering aimlessly at night, but the truth is that I'm not. I've got nowhere to go, so I just walk and let my legs take me wherever they please. Almost all of the time, they take me to places where I can quietly observe people. Nothing creepy at all, just harmless people-watching.
The difference between me and almost everyone here in this town is that everybody knows everybody, and they actually like it that way. It's almost as if they've been friends forever or something. People always saying hi to each other, making small talk, kids at my school hanging out, going out to eat, sleeping over at each other's houses. Sure, I know people, and I've got a few acquaintances here and there, but nothing too serious. I guess you can say I'm a bit of a loner or maybe even a loser. I've just never met anyone I can connect with on an emotional or spiritual level.
I walk through the halls at my school, down the sidewalk on my neighborhood, to the liquor store where I buy my cigarettes and my liquor, and I know I feel old, yet so young all at once. And don't get me wrong, I love my life, but I sometimes feel I was born in the wrong time era. I'm an old soul trapped in a young person’s body. Aside from that, I'm still able to appreciate being here and now, and I must admit that there's just something about walking down the street at night, looking up at the stars with my favorite song on, softly singing along with Jim’s voice, “...whisper what I need, something pretty, something pretty…” With my favorite white T-shirt on, my favorite worn out leather jacket, and those faded blue jeans with holes almost as big as my heart, I feel that something will change soon. I don't know what, but I can just feel it. Feel it inside of me, in the air, everywhere. I know that I like it here, because this is home, but I know that I don't belong here, not forever. Someday I'll leave, and I'll see so much more and feel so much more; more than I've ever felt in my 18 years. I'll find someone like me, and she'll whisper what I need: something pretty, something pretty.
