false alarm e.d

in the morning

i highly suggest listening to the song above while reading this chapter it's very chill and suits the vibe of this chapter.

6am

The usual

She gets dressed in the most respectful clothes she owns. She never mixes her night life with her day life. They're two completely different lives that she's living and they cannot be mixed together, for obvious reasons. 

She has a light breakfast and heads to her local church. She prays to God to forgive her for her previous sins but God never will. Simply because she will sin again, willingly or not. She will sin again and she knows it and so does God. But she can't do anything about it. It's too late.

8am

The service is over and she goes to her favourite library. She walks into a small lane. Straight away she spots the small black store with big windows showing the variety of books this small store has to offer which isn't many. She wipes her feet at the door mat and walks in. She gets greeted by the store owner. Maria. She's in her mid-60s and is very kind and sweat. Maria carries on with reading her book. She goes to the back of the library in her usual spot. She opens her book and takes the bookmark out of her favourite book:

The fault in our stars.

Ironic considering what happened to her parents. But she's left that behind. Just like everyone else form her teenage years and childhood. She's a new person now. She writes down quotes and her favourite parts, cherishing every word that she looks at. This book has been there for her more than anyone ever has or ever will. At least she thought.

11am

She leaves the store. Goodbye is the second thing she's said to Maria in those whole 3 hours that she has been there for. She heads towards her car and drives to her favourite coffee shop.

11:30 am

Once she arrives she parks her car in front of the coffee shop. When she enters silence is all that can be heard. This makes her happy. She doesn't want to hear anyone talking about their life from the other side of the shop. She likes peace and quiet. In the day she does at least. The waitress comes to take her order. She orders the usual. Caramel Frappuccino with extra caramel. She takes out her notepad and starts writing away. Writing her dream life. Her dream relationship. Her dream guy. She thinks he doesn't exist but he does. He's watching her from afar as he regrets his past decisions and the damage that he has caused to her. But he has changed. And so has she. That doesn't stop him from caring and looking out for her. He doesn't need to though. She's independent, fearless and confident with her every decision and move. She knows what she's doing even though it might not seem like it.

2 pm

She has already eaten lunch so she decides to go to the gym for a while.

4 pm

After a successful workout she takes a shower to wash off 2 hours of hard work. She decides to spend the rest of her day at home. She drives to her apartment and goes straight to her closet to change into some more comfortable clothes. As soon as she's done that she goes into her very aesthetically pleasing kitchen and makes herself a fruit salad. She takes it and walks upstairs to her rooftop garden. She lies on the lawn chair while writing her story. The pen dances on the paper capturing every thought in her head down. She writes thoughts that she didn't even know she had. Wishes she has never wished for. Dreams she has never dreamt of. People she's never thought about. A life that will never be a reality. She writes for hours nearly filling up her notepad with all these ideas that are flooding her head. She looks up into the view of her apartment. It's breath taking and she will never get sick of it. This apartment is her biggest achievement. Her biggest dream come true. No one knows what she writes in her notepad. I've gotten a glimpse of it before when I was sitting next to her at the café.

Looks like I've revealed myself. Yes, I am person. Yes, I am part of the reason why she is the way she is now. Yes, I am her ex. Yes, I did cheat and betray her. Yes, I regret it. Yes...I still love her. And I will keep loving her until I don't know what love is. She doesn't know I follow her. I know everything about her. She doesn't know. And she can't know. I'm so close to having her be mine again. I'm so close to having her into my arms again. If I had her again I would never even think of hurting her. I would treat her like a princ- no a queen. She's my queen and I'm her loyal peasant. Doing anything and everything she wants me to do.