Black Sam - Prince of Pirates

Eighteen - ABSENCE

Eighteen-ABSENCE

September 1716

Autumn was Maria’s favorite season in the cemetery. It was the crisp clean air, the smell of dried leaves, and of course a good book. She had bundled up, and planned to distract herself by getting lost in another world. Though it seemed that the harder she tried not to think of Sam, the more she did. Everything reminded her of him. She thought about the first time they met, in this very spot; it seemed so long ago, yet it was only three short months.

From the moment they met, Sam seemed so familiar. It was as if they’d known each other all their lives. Therefore, his absence left with her a feeling of loneliness that she couldn’t forsake, hard as she tried. Sometimes being alone helped her to feel less lonely. She could drift off in Sam’s memory; feel his warmth, and his touch. Laugh at his jokes. The problem was, after such a memory indulgence, her loneliness only increased. Today she was determined to break that cycle.

Ten pages into the book, her mind began to succumb to its enticing’s. It was a murder mystery set in Europe. A governess of a wealthy landowner, found dead with the knife still embedded in her heart. On further inspection, she recently had relations with a man shortly before dying. It was the landowner, it had to be.

A leaf fell into her book startling her. It reminded her of the time Sam threw a flower, and it landed in her book. She still had that flower pressed in the very same book. In fact, she set her current book down, and opened a basket sitting next to her on the blanket. Pulling out three books, she looked at one and set it back down, then another. Here it is. She opened it carefully and flipped through the pages until it opened up to the flower. Smashed flat, she gently picked it up out of the book, and smelled it. Her eye’s closed, and she seemed to transport back to the time when Sam first threw it at her. She remembered the smell of the summer blooms, the green leaves flowing in the breeze, and of course Sam. He was so awkward that day, but very charming.

She opened her eyes as if to see him now, standing in the cemetery throwing autumn leaves at her, but was disappointed with reality. Her heart ached at the thought of his long absence. It had only been a week and a half, and she was having a difficult time. She wasn’t sure she could make it the full four months.

A tear rolled down Maria’s cheek as she tried reading once more. She dropped the book onto the blanket. “What am I doing?” She put her head in her hands emotions bubbling to the surface. She felt like leaving the cemetery, but she didn’t want to go home quite yet. After Sam left, she and her parents fought long and hard, damaging their relationship even more. After all, they were the reason Sam left in the first place.

Tonight, her mother had invited a new acquaintance over for supper. Maria knew what her mother was doing. With Cyprian gone on another adventure, she was trying to keep Maria’s mind off Sam. Maybe Sam was right, maybe mother does hate him.

Maria thought of skipping supper, but she didn’t have an excuse to stay away. Perhaps dinner is just what she needed. She could get her mind off Sam, and maybe have a few laughs. It didn’t mean she had to enjoy it. Moreover, the guest her mother invited could be just the distraction she needed. She would appease her parents by showing up and being civil.

***

Maria sat on the edge of her bed picking at her nails. She didn’t know why she felt so nervous; supper with one of her mother’s suitors could go horribly wrong, and she would normally be fine with it. This was one of her mother's guests, but it felt much different this time. She stood up and paced back and forth, then walked over to her jewelry chest on her dresser and put a silver band on her left ring finger. Looking in the mirror, she smiled and shook her head.