𝘱𝘴, 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 » 𝘻𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 (𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘶𝘦𝘥)

chapter thirty four

Harry

Can I see you?

~Z

That's the letter I found sticking out from my window seal this morning upon waking up. That's also exactly how I ended up sitting right here in the same position by the tree stump at Central Park. I didn't exactly know what time he had wanted to meet up, because he hadn't mentioned it. So, once I arrived here he wasn't present yet. As I sat and waited I thought about what he could've possibly wanted. The last time we met was because he had explaining to do, but what was it now? Did he have more information to tell me? What more could he possibly have to say? He had practically poured his soul out to me before, if there had been more how could I possibly take all that in?

Or maybe he just honestly wanted to see me, just to talk. I didn't know what but the anticipation in me wasn't making it any easier. I sat with my legs cross crossed picking at the healthy looking green grass. Voices could be heard faintly in the background over near the playground. The sun was beaming down on me nicely, my exposed skin taking it in. I don't know how long I had been out here waiting, it must've been twenty minutes or more. Just like last time I was beginning to think he wasn't going to come. After all, he never specified when and what time he wanted to see me. I had just assumed it was today, but I couldn't know for sure.

Exactly the time as the thought had crossed my mind, a darkness fell over me. In other words, a shadow casted over me from behind. I stopped picking at the grass and didn't move as I had already knew who it was. Zayn's dark figure walks from behind me to my line of vision. I look up at him as I watch him slowly lower himself to the ground in front of me. Once he's seated, his eyes lock with mine. We stare at one another in silence just like before, as if we were waiting for the other to talk first. I honestly didn't know what to say. After learning what he was going through, I was still a bit speechless. I didn't exactly know where to go from there.

I clear my throat, carding my fingers together. "Um, so why did you need to see me?" I asked quietly. A faint but noticeable smile can be briefly seen on his face.

"I didn't exactly need to see you, I just wanted to." He says. I bite my lip nervously, not knowing how to really respond.

"Oh.." I trail off. Zayn sucks in a breath.

"Look, I know it's sort of strange talking to me after all that's happened, but honestly nothing's changed. I'm still the same Zayn. The same Zayn that was madly in love with you.." He explains, trailing off at the end. My heart rate speeds up at the last sentence and I have to take a moment to recollect myself. I close my eyes briefly, sucking in a sharp breath before releasing it.

"D-don't say things like that." I mumble, looking down at my lap. I hear Zayn shift slightly, moving his body to sit in a different position on the grass.

"I'm sorry." He says. I stare down at the  grass underneath me, observing how it becomes crushed under my weight while the rest around me remain standing strong and bright. I sit quietly thinking to myself and reflecting on how my life has in fact changed since he's been gone. He may not think so, but I do. I can feel it, I've been living it for the past three years now.

"You may not think things haven't changed, but plenty has changed. Nothing's the same anymore." I whisper.

"What isn't the same?" He asks.

"Everything." I reply with a frown. It was obvious that nothing was the same,  there was no doubt about it. Zayn seemed to think otherwise however which confused me. I could name a lot of things that weren't the same, such as the fact that a group of once five heroes who vow to protect this city had been cut down to four. Gaining a new leader to guide us in our journey to saving the lives of the innocent. New found relationships, a lost friend and member of the team, and a lost lover. There was much more than just that as well. Plenty of feelings and emotions have changed amongst us and I'm sure no one felt the same anymore.

As far as they're concerned, Zayn's still an enemy. If he were to show his face there, they wouldn't hesitate to attack rather then compromise or listen to excuses.

"Maybe," He says. Then he adverts his eyes to briefly look into mine. "Maybe not." He continues, staring into my eyes for another moment before turning away. There was something hidden in his eyes that almost spoke louder than his words. I couldn't exactly read what it was, but it was there. "Either way, I'm back in control of my own life and I intend to get it back on the right path. But I know it won't be easy." He sighs, slumping against the stump as he looks up at the sky, squinting slightly as the sun's intense rays hit them. I eyed him, and just by studying his face I could tell he was feeling troubled and hopeless. I couldn't help but feel bad for him.

It's clear that he's been through so much through out the years, and he's had no one there for him. He was going through this alone, and that must have been the hardest thing to face alone. I had also gone through some hard times in my life alone, so I could understand how it felt. But it was probably nothing compared to what he's been through. With his uncle turning against him, using him for his own personal gain, and his whole family being killed off the way they did, has to be horrible. Along with losing his friends who he had grown so close to. I couldn't imagine the pain he was facing. As much that has happened and all the bad things he's done, I couldn't find the heart to hate him. He had suffered just as we had. The only difference is, we had each other and Zayn had no one.

I bite my lip, hesitating before I could help myself, I spoke. "I could help you." I refrained from cringing when I let the words leave my mouth. Zayn perks up a little and looks over at me, tilting his head.

"What?"

I clear my throat, "I said, I could help you. Y'know.. return to normality. Recuperate." I say softly, more clear this time.

"You'd help me?" I nod. Zayn smiles briefly, before turning away. "Thanks, but I don't think I actually need help finding my way." He says.

"I just meant, I-I'd be there for you. I-if you need someone." I reply, shakily. I didn't know why I was becoming some nervous all of a sudden. Maybe it was just the fact that I had offered to practically be Zayn's shoulder to cry on and to be the one to be there for him when he's struggling. Not to mention that tiny sparkle in his eyes I could see when he glanced at me, and his genuine smile.

"I'd like that very much, Harry." He says softly, hesitantly placing his hand on my leg. I nod slowly as I stared down at his hand, trying to ignore my racing heart. He pulls his hand away causing me to look up at him and see him smiling kindly. As weird as it was to see him smile this much after so long, it kinda felt nice to see it. I slowly return a small smile back at him.

I hoped I wasn't making a bad decision here.

~