I feel nothing
For anyone
I hate
Myself
My brother
Is a nuisance to me
My mother
Is six feet under
By my own hand
I wish to be the same
My father means well
But he does not understand
I am broken and cannot be fixed
Seeing her is painful
She is so much like him
The one who hurt me
Beyond anything anyone could do
I trusted him
He trusted me
I broke that trust
Reality is an illusion
Albeit a persistent one
But how do I escape the illusion?
I have tried
Nothing works
I am trapped
The mirror seems to lie
But I must believe
I faithfully stare each day
As I waste away, so the outside matches the inside -
Wasted away to fucking nothing
One day, I will be free
Free of my body
Free of the shackles of this disorder
Free of life
But for now
I wait.
