an oath

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Rani Padmavati won't show her face.

She won't remove her veil, not even for eating or drinking. She refuses to give up even though she lost this battle long time ago. Khilji doesn't bother to force her, he patiently waits for her to pass out, which will inevitably happen due to dehydration when she won't drink water for hours under the burning desert heat. Then he will have his chance to take a long look at her beautiful face, this perfect creature, a pure soul of loyalty and pride, at his tent, next to him. The thought of her would leave him sleepless, now he wonders if he will be able to blink as she breathes the same air with him.
  Khilji raises his hand and the troop immediately stops. He gets off of his horse and looks back at Padmavati. For a second he thinks of Mehrunisa and it stings his conscience a bit but desire overwhelms him.
  ‎He extends his arm to help her get off the horse but she jumps down, not taking his hand.
  ‎"It's time to eat!" He shouts and the troop gets on the action. 
  ‎He slowly leans into Padmavati's ear, he can barely see the outlines of her face behind the red cloth. "And I want you with me."

***
Khilji doesn't wait for his tent to be set to have dinner, he takes the meat from fire with his bare hands and brings it directly to his mouth. She makes a special effort to not to look up to him, because he truly sounds like a monster while he is eating.

‎Padmavati is sitting next to his feet as he wished, with her veil still on.

‎She doesn't let herself to be afraid of him but she's very disturbed to say the least. She keeps remembering the dreadful roar he made when he grabbed her waist and pulled her away from the fire, the door to her love, he roared with glory.
‎The moment she hit her back to his chest, she could feel the vibrations of his voice, the crazy beat of his heart and also hers, mixing together while she fights with all she has to jump back into the fire.
‎He puts her over his shoulder and doesn't budge when she is kicking him. She tries to strangle him but he basically holds her wrists with his one hand. She doesn't want to give up. She looks around and see the women who couldn't make it to the Jauhar is being dragged around brutally, all of them having the same expression of defeat on their faces and there is no way for Padmavati to forget that till the end of her life.
‎The surrender starts from within, she stops praying and thinks he might be the devil himself, his state of euphoria making her feel unreal. She closes her eyes and wishes for death.
‎Now, she does it again, wishes for death as her body betrays her and her stomach growls for food.
‎"I won't let you die like that, you should know, Padmavati." Khilji says.
‎Hearing her name from his voice still gives her goosebumps. It's like living a nightmare over and over again.
‎"I am already dead." She speaks for the first time in three days.
‎Oh God, he loves this sound. Her voice. It satisfies him on a spiritual level.
‎"And I am the famous devil from hell?" He says, laughing.
‎"Are you proud?" she asks, truly disgusted.
‎"You have no idea, Padmavati. But you will understand."
‎"I will pray everyday so that I will never understand what an impure heart like yours can desire. You truly belong to hell."
‎"Yet you were the one jumping into the flames, Padmavati. I believe we have a connection."
‎Everytime she hears her name from his voice, it feels like fire being poured on her head. She grabs the desert sand from the ground, stands up and throws it on his face, her anger doesn't settle down even a bit.
He grabs her wrist and pulls of her veil with one move, looking directly at her teary eyes.
‎His glare is so strong that it penetrates the wall Padmavati built for her fears and she feels her knees go weak as the darkness of his eyes dissolves in her.
‎"Don't you dare to fight me now, Padmavati. First, I am known for winning battles. Second, you already lost. Since I have no limitations such as honour or fear of God, your definition of nightmare might be a light breeze compared to the storms I can put you through."

Padmavati doesn't blink or breathe as she tries to fight the feeling of horror coming from his eyes and words. She manages to stay still and take it all in without collapsing to the ground. She just bows her head, surprising him. He lets go of her wrist and she gets down on her knees to get her veil from the ground.
People see it as if she is bowing down to him and she realizes it when silence occurs but doesn't care about how it looks. She pulls the veil over her hair again, leaving her face open this time. She looks at the servants leaving the tent.
‎"This is how you start understanding." Khilji says with a smirk. Padmavati turns her back and walks into the tent as she internally swears for her husband's and nation's revenge.

Now, it is a fight to live.


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