I'm Not Like Other Girls (this story is a joke just read it)

I'm Different

*beep* *boop* *bop*

Ugh, I say to myself. I look at my clock, reading 5:67am. I scream for a solid 30 seconds. My parents come in extremely shocked and worried. "What happened?!" Yelled my dad.

"Lmao who tf r u" I say. "Oh yeah this is my new boyfriend, Joe," says my mom, "I'm packing the bags and leaving you on your own. You can live in that bad boys house though because I know you're still a virgin. Lol loser."

"Mom!" I yelled, "You rite tho."

I look at my clock, 9:83pm. "Wait," I say to myself, "wasn't it 5:67am like, two minutes ago?" Oh well. I hop out of bed and go straight to the shower. I'm such a morning person. Even tho it's 9:83pm. I'm not like other girls. Most girls despise mornings. I embrace them!

After I get out of the shower I go to the living room, but with a towel on don't worry. I watch the news channel and Donald Trump comes on. "Yes!" I yell, "my favorite man." Most girls despise Donald J. Trump, but I adore him!

After I watch my man talk about building a wall, I go to my room and pick out my clothes.

My mom took all my clothes to sell on EBay. That bitch told me she was gonna give me 15% of the profits. Oh well, I guess I gotta go with a bathrobe to school.

I told my friend, Pumba, to give me a ride to school at 0:26am. She said no, so I threatened to eat her last chicken nugget. She called the cops and got my arrested. Hate that bitch.

I then asked my friend Putt-Putt to give me ride and she agreed. She knocked on my door and asked if I was ready.

I ran as fast as I could to her car and I heard her scream out, "Hey! What are you doing?!" I hot-wired the car and drove off without her because I'm not like other girls. When I got to school everyone was staring at my bathrobe. Kylie Jenner who? I walked confidently in front of my stolen car and saw the bad boy I was going to live with. "Hey lover," I called out, "did your mom tell you I was gonna live with you?"

"What? Who are you?" He exclaimed.

"Your lover, duh" I said. He quickly ran away screaming at the top of his lungs with his arms in the air. He ran so quickly that he accidentally tripped and fell on the side walk. Everyone was rushing around, making a circle around him. Moments passed and no one said a word.

"Lmao sike losers, it was just role play," he said.

"But isn't role play when you act out another charac-"

We were interrupted by the bell. The principle came out and told us all to get to class. I decided to walk with my lover and ask him if he actually knew me. He said yes and that he can come live with me at around 4pm-5pm. I asked him what kind of time is that because I only do military time. He said 8:703.

"Ight lover boy, I'll see you in Gibberish," I said.

"But I take Spanis-"

I got bored of him so I went to my first class. Breakfast. What's breakfast you ask me? Well, it's when you run really fast and take a break. Break-fast. I saw my best friend, Matata, at breakfast and decided that it was time to end this friendship. There was nothing wrong with her, it's just that I was tired of saying Matata all the time.

"Hey Matata," I called out, "we need to talk."

"About what?" She exclaimed.

"I'm pregnant."

"Wait, but weren't you going to tell me that you didn't want to be my friend anymore?"

"How did you even know I was going to say that?" I asked.

"I have telepathy."

"Wait, I thought you were American."

"No, I'm a female" she said.

"Oh you rite" I said. I didn't know what a female was so I just stood there staring at her with my big red eyes for 48 minutes. The bell rang so I quickly sneezed and Naruto ran all the way to a new school. I talked to another bad boy to see if he would let me stay with him just in case I got bored with my original one. Three thousand boys overheard me and said I can come over any time.

(Not finished- will update shortly)