Entry for the Love, Simon Contest

Finding Yourself

Dear World,

I'm just like you, and I deserve love.

Hey world, it's llmarie405. I've used this surname for 4 years. It's like a piece of me I can't let go. My followers probably think I'm blonde with dazzling eyes, I'm far from it. Dark strange hair, dark eyes, tan-ish skin, acne, tall frame, cocky smirks, and bags under my eyes. I used to hate my looks.

I am aware that I am not perfect.

I was born into a welcoming family. The usual mother, father, grandparents, loving aunt, little dog.

I'm not the normal idea of a teenager. While other girls are into makeup and shopping for pretty dresses, I'm in jeans, a snap back, and 3D glasses shopping for band/ gaming merchandise at Hot Topic.

I also have a secret like Simon and "Blue". I'm a lesbian. I hate having to hide it from my peers and my parents. Someday I'll shout that my closet is for clothes. I'm still human, despite my weird attributes and self-deprecating humor. I don't think not for one second that any human being shouldn't be loved. The human heart can turn cold without it. You may believe you don't deserve it, I have thought that too, but there is no need to suffocate emotional needs. I would do this.

Don't cry.

Don't show you care.

Don't laugh too much.

Don't show sadness.

I gave myself demons I didn't need. I hate knowing that others have done the same. You're not the only one who cries themselves to sleep to the tune of your memories.

So tell yourself to do something good with the dark. I turned to my talents to make me stable. I sing my heart out, let my mind throw up words onto the page, from stories to poems, from acting to drawing. I used that as a distraction to make me who I am today. I believe in letting people run wild with their imagination. Acting helped me pretend I'm someone different for a while to help me see myself as a side character. We have demons that won't leave us alone so you have to learn how to ignore them. Whether you draw, sing, play instruments, or dance all that matters is that you can kick the dark to the curb. Fall Out Boy once told me in the Save Rock and Roll Album for the song Save Rock and Roll that "You are what you love, not who loves you." I had to learn how to love myself before I could show love to anyone else. I'll admit this world isn't perfect. Someone is always fighting with another. There is always constant turmoil in this world. Don't let the ignorance suffocate you. But without the dark there will be no light, hence my favorite symbol the yin yang.

-Love, llmarie405

"Let your imagination run wild, sometimes that's all you need to laugh and smile....

I'd rather make you feel loved instead of taking it away."

~ *{CG}*