Rebuilding Us || Cricky

IV

TRIGGER WARNING: talk of death, drugs, and overdose

DISCLAIMER: I realize certain events in this story are unrealistic and that this is not the way things actually work. However, it is my story and I can write the way I want to. I do not want to see people in the comments telling me I'm wrong or that it's not what actually happens. I am fully aware of that, I am just writing it like this for the sake of the story.

*Chris's POV*

"Chris?"

"Yeah?" I sighed as I turned my head to look at him.

"Who's Holly?"

"I don't know. Who's Holly?" He furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head.

"I just called Ricky. She didn't answer, but Josh did. He said that no one could talk right now and when I asked why all he said was 'Holly died, she's too upset and I need to be there. I'll call you later.' Then hung up." I raised an eyebrow and thought about it for a minute. Holly? Do I know a Holly? Then it hit me.

"Fuck. That's Ricky's sister." I roughly rubbed my hands over my face. "I knew this day was coming," I sighed. "She's been using for a long time."

"Using? What do you mean using?"

"Drugs. She was a heroine addict. Ricky always wanted to help. He - god dammit - she always tried to help her but Holly just didn't want to be clean. She refused every time. But Ricky still loved her. She was still always there for Holly no matter what. I'm sure the drugs are what killed her." He just stared blankly at the ground.

All I could think about was Ricky. All I wanted was to know how she was. I just wanted to go check on her. She means everything to me. I just want to be with her. But she doesn't want that, she doesn't want me. Or does she? Maybe she does. Maybe I need to be there for her. Maybe that's what she wants.

I stood up and grabbed my car keys. Matthew started to tell me not to, but I ran out and shut the door while he was talking. I need to be there for her.

*Ricky's POV*

I sat there numb and empty in the arms of my best friends. I didn't know what to do. I'd cried myself dry. I can't believe she's gone. My big sister is gone. I'll never get to talk her or see her or hug her again.

I heard my front door open, and I had no idea who it was, but I didn't really care too much either. Devin asked who it could be, or if I was expecting anyone, but I didn't respond. I didn't even react to the fact that there's possibly a stranger in my house.

Josh stood up and went to go check. I heard people whisper argue in the hallway, but I couldn't tell what about. When my bedroom door opened again I expected to see Josh, but it wasn't him. It was Chris. I closed my eyes wishing I had tears left to cry. He came and bent down in front of me.

"Ricky, honey, I'm sorry about the other day. I'm not mad, and I'd be thrilled to call you my girlfriend. But that's up to you. Anyway, that's not why I'm here. Honey, I heard. I'm so sorry. I'm here, but if you want me to leave just say so, and I will, okay?" I didn't say anything, but he stood there and waited. I pat the bed next to me as a way of telling him to sit down. When he did, I leaned against him. Yes, it hurt that he didn't trust me, but he apologized, and he did use the right pronouns so I guess getting back together wouldn't be such a bad thing. Besides, Chris is the one I need more than anyone right now.

"I love you," I whispered as I cuddled further into his chest.

"I love you too." Josh came back into the room asked if I wanted him to stay or if I wanted him to be alone. I told him I would be fine if he left. He and Devin left, so it was just Chris and me for awhile. We didn't talk, I just sat there in his arms, staring at nothing and feeling completely empty inside.

Hours passed and I hadn't moved at all. I'd barely even said a word. Chris tried to get me to eat or drink some water, but I wouldn't, I couldn't. I knew the drugs would take her from me one of these days. This wasn't her first OD, she had 4 before this one but was saved every other time. My she was all I had. My parents died 7 years ago, my mom died of cancer and my dad committed suicide shortly after because he didn't know how to handle the death of my mom. Holly was all I had. Now I have no one. I guess I don't have to plan a funeral, she didn't have many friends and we have no other family. The only friends she had were the ones she shot dope with and I don't want to be around them, obviously. I'm probably just going to have her cremated and I'll keep her ashes somewhere in the house.