Just My Luck

Chapter Three • The Harsh Truth

"Don't you know, sweetie? She died." Those words cut deeply into Chance's soul. Her brain, her body and her mind felt numb. Every bitter memory of her life by the dumpster flashed through her brain. It was if someone had opened a photo album of her life and was flicking through it at extraordinary speed.

Bella had apologised profusely as soon as she had been made aware that Chance had not known of her mother's passing. Chance had sat there, in the same spot she was sitting in now, thinking of how much of her life she had wasted by that dumpster, waiting for the return of a mother who would never come back. Chance hadn't cried. She had just sat, contemplating the life she would have had if she hadn't turned down Estelle's offer to move to the country. She had just been over five when Estelle suggested a permanent move closer to her sister Lucie, and hadn't met Beau yet. Chance had refused to leave the dumpster, and Revoir Street as she had believed that when her mother was to return, she wouldn't be there. She now realised that she had been naïve, even if she was just five. She had so strongly believed her mother was alive and coming back for her. She hadn't even thought about the fact that she had left her by the dumpster for a reason, and it hadn't even occurred to her that she had died.

Samuel had sat by awkwardly, watching a seemingly frozen Chance rethink her entire life. Beau had sat next to her, stroking her knee and offering calming words. Samuel could see that Beau was trying to thaw the now-broken girl. Samuel could relate to what she was going through as he had just been 12 when Isla had died. She had been his best friend, tutor and had also been a support for his father, who was still grieving the loss of their mother who had died two years earlier. She had been a doting mother and a loving sister towards him, and had never seemed to mind the five-year age gap between them. Isla had been adopted by the family when she was 8, she had been a troubled child, and had barely spoken a word to their parents when she had first come home, but everyone's always said that she loved her 'Sammy' as soon as he wrapped her hand around her little finger and told her that he would never let go.

Beau's words of comfort did lead to a much more calm Chance, who had relaxed her shoulders and was breathing more freely and frequently. Chance eventually stood up and walked to the seat where Samuel sat and waited until he looked at her.

"How did she die?" were the first words out of Chance's lips, she had spoken clearly and harshly, and had seen Samuel flinch. Beau could see where this was heading, as soon as Chance knew how her mother had died, she would beat herself up over it, she would not sleep, and her thoughts would constantly revolve around it. Beau knew this because the exact same thing had happened when a fourteen-year-old Chance had found out Estelle had anorexia. Beau mouthed 'No' to Samuel as he looked at Beau for an answer, but decided to tell the story anyway. All Beau could do was hope that whatever Samuel was about to say wouldn't affect Chance too much.

"Isla was 18 when she found out she was pregnant with you, and a few weeks before you were due, she was involved in a car crash. She protected you through the crash, and as a result you weren't injured at all - but she was." Samuel paused to take a breath. He had explained all that in under five seconds, and both Beau and Chance could see how much he was hurting.

"They took you out on the 6th of March 1985, Isla was in a coma, but a few days after you were born, she woke up and that entire day she played with you. She was so angry that she missed your birth you know." Samuel smiled, his eyes looked suspiciously misty, but Chance didn't say anything about it.

Chance was processing this new information when she realised that Samuel had completely avoided her initial question. As Chance opened her mouth, Samuel did too, "Shehadcancer" Samuel said blurted, and his words felt like bricks, shattering the wall of hope she had built around herself, the wall which had protected her from so many unwanted comments. Chance felt the room spin before allowing herself to fall into the darkness that wanted her so badly.

"I'm sorry, Chance." Chance knew the voice even before she had registered the words he had uttered. "Take me AWAY!" she wanted to scream at the darkness. She didn't want to ever wake up and face reality. A few seconds later she heard a splash. Each drop of water felt like it was digging into her skin like pieces of glass and she screamed and screamed, her voice piercing the air. Samuel reached for her, but Beau pulled him back. Chance screamed until she could scream no more. She screamed for the hope of a mother she never had. She screamed for everyone who had lost a loved one to cancer. She screamed for the sixteen years of her life that she had lost, hoping that her mother would come back – a mother who would never know her. She screamed until she could scream no more. Until her voice was gone, and her throat was raw and dry. Only then did she allow herself to cry and cry until everything became her tears, dropping and falling until she could no longer make sense of the world.