It Was Always There

Her World Crashes Down

I stretch from my comfortable spot on the sofa, letting the ending credits of the move play on screen.

"It was good but I didn't like the ending." Harry says doing the same, making me laugh.

"How can you not have liked that ending? It had everything." I ask getting up and gathering all the dirty dishes from the coffee table.

"Well for one thing he shouldn't have died. Second of all, I don't believe for one second that she wasn't the spy. Third." Harry pauses.

"Well I can't think of a third reason." I chuckle and make my way to the kitchen, Harry following. I start to wash the dishes, Harry drying. This is our regular Friday night routine. Movie, dinner, dishes then just hang. We have been doing it since we were 16.

"So there's something I want to tell you." Harry says taking a bowl from the draining board.

"Okay." I say wiping down the sink and counter, then drying my hands. I turn and lean against the counter.

"Tomorrow I am going to ask Meghan to marry me." His words hit me like a ton of bricks. My stomach drops and I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat. It takes my brain a minute to fully register his words. He's going to ask Meghan to be his wife. He is going to spend the rest of his life with someone besides me. Well I mean what did I expect? Just because I am in love with him doesn't give me the right to call him mine.

"Vicky." Harry calling my name snaps me from my thoughts. I put a smile on my face and bring him into a hug. Holding back the tears I just hug him. When I pull away I manage to say,

"That's great, congratulations." My voice is a little shacky but I smile anyway and reach over and place the palm of my hand against his cheek. He gives it a light kiss making me pull my hand away. The gesture too intimate for best friends. He walks away and goes back into the living room, leaving me stunned and hurt. When he comes back he has a ring box. Oh no why does he have to show me the ring. He opens it and wow its beautiful.

"Think she will like it?" He asks and all I can do is shake my head yes. This is getting far to real therefor my emotions are hard to keep together.

"Granny approved the match. I just wanted my best friend to know before the rest of the world." Best friend. Them two words break me. That's all we will ever be. Best friends. Suddenly my stomach turns. I turn and make a mad dash to my bathroom. I empty the contents of stomach into my toilet. Harry all the while kneeling behind me, holding my hair back and rubbing circles on my back. When I finally stop I sit back, my back hitting Harry's chest. No I can't be this close to him. I jump up like a bolt of lightning has struck me. I flush the toilet and go over to the bathroom sink. I take some mouth wash and rinse out my mouth.

"Are you okay?" Harry asks coming over and feeling my head.

"No fever." He says. Well I guess I better lie.

"Maybe it was that tuna melt I had for lunch. It didn't taste right to me but I thought it was just because I got it from a different place."

"Okay well go lie down. I'll stay the night just in case."

"No!" Shit I didn't mean to yell that.

"I mean you should go home. You know just in case its a bug. Can't get you sick. You have a big day tomorrow." Them words make bile form in my throat again but I swallow it.

"No I can stay. If your sick I don't want you to be alone." Bless him but no he has to leave. I need to be alone right now.

"It's okay go." Harry nods his head and I follow him back to the living room. When he reach the door he turns and says,

"I'm a phone call away Vicky." I nod my head not trusting my voice. He leans forward and places a light kiss to my forehead. I watch as he leaves my flat. It's only a minute after he shuts the door that I fall to me knees sobbing.