Does anyone ever feel like they're failing at life, like everyone else has somehow cracked this magic code that you just don't understand. I always feel like I'm nothing compared to my friends. My partner is so amazing and I don't deserve them, I'm not good enough for them and I don't know what to do about it. Recently I thought I was feeling better, happier but I'm realising that it's just the numbness of not feeling anything that's relieving and fucking scary. I feel the best when I'm with my partner but I'm always terrified that I'm going to mess it up or do something wrong, and I'm scared that they're going to learn that I'm not good enough for them. They're so amazing and talented and handsome and smart and kind and just the best person I know. I miss them so much when they're not here. Sometimes I feel like I want to hurt myself again to feel something, to make me feel better, but I made a promise and I'm trying to keep it but sometimes it's real hard.
Anyway I should stop being a spoiled middle-class white dick who has a roof, food and a family yet still finds shit to complain about so bye.
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