The Third Man

Chapter 11 - Despair

Peter felt as if he was buried deep inside the ground, his body and heart bearing the weight. His thoughts were blurry, not knowing what to do, getting out of crevasse seemed a distant dream. He knew if he went to sleep his condition would worsen. He forced himself up, made some tea to feel better. He was so lost in his thoughts, he completely forgot about Dan, who was asleep at a corner.

Everytime Peter looked at the work he has completed he felt he can get out, but as soon as he looked at height and felt the sickness he dropped his gaze back to his feet.

But he had to do something. He mustered his courage, picked up his tools and started climbing. Every meter of ascend gave him feeling of vertigo. When at last he reached to continue from where he left, he was already breathless. His tools were heavier than before, every strike sent shivers down his body. Every cell in his body revolted against him. He immediately came down, back to his sleeping bag. He closed his eyes, head spinning again.

No he can't lie down.

He jumped up on his feets. But couldn't stand still. He took the support of the ice wall, but even that wasn't enough, he sat down for a while.

Once the feeling subside, he tried again. But this time it was even more worse. He came back halfway, fear gripping him. He kept standing where he got down, frozen, feeling helpless, heart beating against his ribs like a wild animal caged for the first time. What if he can't go up again? Couldn't finish what he started? Is this the end?

No it can't be, after all this hope, he was so close, almost there. How could this happen to him?

His hands lost grip off the ice axe, he stumbled his way to his sleeping bag, tried to lower himself down slowly, but instead fell on it.

'I shouldn't be lying down right now' he thought. He placed both his hands beneath him, trying to force himself up, but failed.

He couldn't keep his eyes open, he couldn't tolerate the vertigo. Why try so hard. He had to save Dan, but right now he didn't care.

He felt angry with god, for giving him hope in the first place, if he was supposed to die in here what's the point of making him work so hard.

He was sorry, for a lot of things. He wanted to apologize to Mia, for ruining her life, to his sons, for being a bad father, to his parents, for turning out to be such a bad son. And to Dan, for giving him hope to see his wife again.

Dan was calling him. It didn't matter now.

Only if he had more time he would have done things differently.

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