Dancing With The Devil

Chapter 7

I stare at Caleb in shock. He doesn't look back at me and I force myself to stop staring at him. "Do you know why he's here," I ask. Caleb shakes his head. His hair and face are covered in sweat. I've never seen Caleb so nervous before. This man that hurt Caleb really did a number on him. It almost reminds me of how I am when I'm around dad.
     I don't dwell on the thought for too long and try to get Caleb calmed down. When I look back at him, tears are running down his face. He looks at me. "I'm sorry. I should be the one to take care of you and yet, here you are taking care of me." I shake my head. "Don't be stupid. I owe you back for all of the times that you helped me." Caleb laughs. It doesn't hold any humor and is almost sarcastic.
     "Look at me, acting like a scared little girl. I feel like a fool." More tears run down Caleb's face. I try to help him, but he just pushes me away and stands up. "Caleb, let me help you," I say. He just shakes his head and begins to walk upstairs. "I'll be fine. Go on and eat. I'll be down soon."
     Before I can protest, he's already up the stairs. I stand in the living room dejectedly. Why is it that when I need help Caleb always knows what to do, but when I try to help him I can't even do that? I'm so useless that it doesn't even make sense at this point. I just want to help my brother but I can't. My arms begin to itch and I scratch at them mercilessly. Without even meaning to, my nails dig into my skin and I scratch my arms raw. When I look at my hands, my fingernails are coated in blood and bits of my skin.
     I walk into the kitchen and wash my hands. I have to stop this. I told Mrs.Conwell that I could control myself. I owe it to her. She's helped me for so long, the least I can do is keep my promise. I clean up my arms, which luckily aren't bleeding that much. They're just covered in flesh wounds. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I can do this. I can control my urges.

         ++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    I walk next to Bonnie near the ice-cream truck. I wanted to treat her to a cone since it's her first day off in a while. Bonnie works at Melrose for 7 days a week from it's opening until it's closing. When I asked her why she works so much, she told me that she wants to save up for college. She leaves in the fall and the thought saddens me. I had just became accustomed to seeing Bonnie everyday just to learn that I won't see her once the fall starts.
    "Jace how come you didn't buy an ice-cream," Bonnie asks. I frown slightly but I quickly replace the frown with a smile. "I'm not really a big fan of ice-cream", I lie. She nods and doesn't ask me anything else. We continue to walk for a while until we see Mike leaving a clothing store.
     He notices us and smiles. He walks up to us and says hi to Bonnie. To me and Bonnie's surprise, Mike leans in and kisses me. My face flushes and I look away. Mike chuckles and wraps his arm around my shoulder. Bonnie stares at us for a second, then laughs. "I knew you two would make a cute couple." If possible, I blush even harder. Together we walk downtown and throughout the entire way, Mike holds my hand. I don't really know how to react or what to do. I've never been in an relationship for and I've definitely never held hands with someone. One minute, I think I'm squeezing too hard and the next, I feel like I'm not squeezing hard enough.
     As we walk, people look at me and Mike curiously. A few people give me dirty looks and I flinch back. Mike doesn't seem to mind though. In fact, his smile gets even bigger. As more people look at me, I grow uncomfortable and I feel eyes all on me. I rip my hand away from Mike's and he looks back at me. He looks a little hurt and I feel my hurt break. I didn't mean to make him upset, I just couldn't handle the feeling of eyes watching me.
     "You okay?" Mike stands in front of me and looks at me worriedly. I nod my head but Mike doesn't seem convinced. He takes my hand into his and pulls me closer to him. "I can tell that you're lying." I blush and look away. I was never good at lying. I shake my head and smile. "I'm fine." Before he can say anything, I walk up next to Bonnie and walk with her. We walk inside of a Rite-Aid because Bonnie said that she needed some 'products'.
     I'm so glad that I'm not a girl. While Bonnie walks around shopping, me and Mike wait near the entrance of the store. I feel uncomfortable under his gaze as he stares at me. "Jace, tell me what wrong," he says. I shake my head. "I don't want to talk about it." He frowns and presses on.
    "If you don't talk about it, whatever's bothering you will only get worse." I look down at my shoes. I don't want to bother Mike with my problems. They're mine to deal with, not him. "I just need som air." I walk outside and take in a breath of fresh air.
      Relief flood me and I feel peaceful. My relief is short lived though when I notice a man with a hoodie who's standing near me, and he's a little too close for comfort. I look at the guy and fear immediately sets in when I realize that he's dad's friend. The same man who molested Caleb.
     The guy smirks at me and before I can do anything, he's standing right in front of me. "Nice to see you again Jace." His breath smells like fresh cigarettes. He grabs my arms and I'm pinned.
     "So how is my lovely little Caleb," he asks smugly. I glare at him. "Leave Caleb alone." He looks at me, a fake shocked expression on his face. "Now why would I want to do that? He's so cute, I can barely resist him." A disgusted shiver runs down my spine. He's just like my dad. A monster.
     "What do you want," I ask. He looks at the sky, pretending to think. "I have a message for you from Daddy Dear." At the thought of my dad, fear runs through me. "He misses you and he wants to see you soon." I struggle against his grip and glare at him.
      "He's in jail and that's where he's staying." He grins at me. "Is that so?" I nod my head. "Yes it is." He lets me go and is about to walk away, when he turns back towards me.
      "You can't run from your inner demons Jace. You'll be forced to face them eventually." He walks away, leaving me to dwell on his words. My inner demons?
       Mike and Bonnie walk outside of the Rite-Aid and look at me. "Jace, what's wrong," Bonnie asks. "You look like you saw a ghost." She chuckles a little but stops when I don't laugh with her. "Jace?" Mike puts his hand on my shoulder but I flinch away. He looks at my, shock and a little hurt evident on his face. I shake my head and tears sting my eyes.
     "I'm sorry, I have to go," I say. Before they can say anything, I run off. I hear Bonnie and Mike call my name, but I ignore them. I run all the way home without even waiting for the bus.
     I open the front door and slam it closed, before running into my room. I flop down on the bed. My arms itch so badly. They practically scream for the blade and I can't take it anymore. I stumble into Caleb's room. I search through his drawers until I finally find the object that I'm looking for.
      I hold the bottle of sleep-aid in my hands and I walk back into my room. Caleb doesn't know that I know he has these. He only takes them if he can't sleep and he has to work early in the morning. They're not a doctors prescription so I can always buy him more, but right now, I need them desperately. I pour 2 capsules into my hand and I tilt my head back. I throw the pulls into my mouth, dry swallowing them. I wait for abut 10 minutes when my eyes begin to grow heavy. These will stop my arms from itching, even if it's just for a while.
     My head hits the pillow and I'm out like a light.