Shadow Honor - Book 1 of The Trial

Shadow Honor - 9

"You let him go?" Salidar asked. His expression was a mixture of confusion and anger, "I gave you a gift, one you said you wanted, and you just let it go?"

Maxthane recoiled under his father's gaze. They had been at this for several minutes, and Salidar had yet to let Maxthane speak. Not that he had tried to. He knew better than to interrupt his father's rants, regardless of the topic. Salidar wasn't looking for a response; he simply wanted to let off steam.

This new question was different though. Salidar had finally calmed down enough that he was no longer speaking, and instead he was looking at his son in bewilderment, as Maxthane fidgeted with his hands. Maxthane looked up at his father's face and whispered, "Father, you don't understand. I had to."

Salidar ran his right hand through his hair, and then let it rest on his neck for a moment as he stared at Salidar. "Just tell me why," Salidar pleaded in exasperation. "You're right that I don't understand, in fact I'm completely blown away by your actions. I thought you were attracted to him. Didn't you want him to stay?"

"Yes, I did," Maxthane replied, looking away from his father to the window that Styx had escaped from several hours earlier. With a sigh he explained, "But not caged. I'm . . ." His emotions were confusing to him, and he didn't know where to begin with explaining them to his Father.

Salidar wasn't about to let the topic go without an answer. "You're . . . what?" He asked, and to his credit he managed to control himself well enough that it sounded supportive and patient. As Maxthane continued gazing through the window, the silence dragged, and he hoped his father would remain patient while he sorted through his thoughts.

"I'm not only attracted to him," Maxthane admitted at last, "I'm in love with him. I can't even begin to explain it."

"You're in love with him? How is that even possible?" Salidar scoffed. "You couldn't have spent more than an hour with him in total. Plus, I think you're a little young to know something like that with such certainty."

"No. You don't get it," Maxthane countered, annoyed by his father's attitude. "Normally you understand what's happening, but not this time. I knew the moment that I looked into his eyes. The connection was undeniable—instinctual and complete, like I've never felt before. Haven't you ever been in love?"

Salidar looked at him as if through new eyes. This was the second time that Maxthane had proved to be less than fully obedient, and Salidar wasn't sure how to handle it. If he continued to allow Maxthane the freedom to explore his true self, then he would eventually lose his grip on the boy, and he wasn't sure he was prepared for that. Still, the question Max raised was thought provoking.

"Honestly?" Salidar asked, settling back on his heels as he stared off into space, considering a distant point in his memory. "I'm not sure. I don't even think I was in love with your mother. The only things I've ever loved are you and power." That comment led Maxthane to turn around so that he was looking up at his father's face again, searching for the sincerity he desperately wanted to find there. Salidar didn't disappoint him, but though his usual reservation kept him from showing it in his expression, his eyes betrayed his true emotions on the subject. "I've tried to do everything I could to achieve power and make you happy, and usually I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Normally you have," Maxthane admitted, "at least as far as I've ever seen. And in all honesty, I'm really glad you listened to me and let him leave the arena. I'm sorry that letting him go upsets you," he added with a blush, though his eyes flashed defiantly as he continued, "But I'm not sorry that I did it. He couldn't bear being caged, and I wasn't willing to crush his spirit. That would have meant destroying the very thing about him that I love the most."