It was Thursday. The dismissal bell had rung and I was on my way to the library to meet with James and finish our project. I hadn't seen him all day, but that was a good thing. I can't keep being associated with The Reds, it's a dangerous game. A game that I shall not play because I know better. I think. I mean, there's the plus side of protection, right? Couldn't be all that bad... Yes it could. They're a gang or whatever, can't let myself merge into them.
I shake the thoughts out of my mind and just drive to the library. Once I'm there I find James at one of the computers, already working on the project.
"How'd you get into the project? It was on my email." I ask as I set down my bag and take a seat.
"I shared it with me when you went to the bathroom." He replied without taking his eyes off the screen.
"Oh, okay, makes sense. But don't do that next time, just tell me to share it." This makes him glance at me, "there'll be a next time? I thought you wanted nothing to do with me." He raises an eyebrow. I scowl at him.
"It was a loose response, this does not mean we will continue to work together. Got it?" James just shrugs and continues with the project while I rummage the book shelves for anymore info we could use in our slides. When I come back empty handed he sighs and stands up.
"Do I have to do all the work?" He shakes his head and disappears around a shelf. A second later he comes back with a stack of books and a smug look on his face. "Impressed?" He laughs as I shut my mouth which was previously a gap.
"Just put it on the slide," I grumble and cross my arms. The library was my domain. Where was he pulling these books from? There was nothing when I had checked. They couldn't of magically appeared.... but either way I'm glad he found the books. We really needed that something extra.
As the time went by we got closer and closer to finishing until all that needed to be done was a quick edit.
"Can you quick finish while I put the books back?" I asked James as I stood up. "Just check for grammar errors and what not," he nods and I disappear down an isle. Once the books were back in their rightful places I wandered the fantasy isles near the bathrooms to kill some time to spare me from being near my project partner. Eventually I found the spot where I stood when James had pulled me into the shadows and I gave him a bloody nose.
My fingers ran over the books on the shelf as I closed my eyes and started remembering how that happened. A hand had grabbed me and pulled me into the dark hall I stopped in front of. The body the hand belonged to leaned down and whispered 'gotcha' into my ear. Then I started imagining what would have happened had I not punched him in the nose. I imagined my body would've stiffened as I looked up to see James and his devilish grin. My heart would've skipped a beat or maybe stopped altogether as he leaned down and tilted my head up so our lips could meet. It would've been a warm and soft kiss full of hesitation, care, and a spark we both would feel. Then he would've lifted me up a little to bring me closer while I would wrap my arms around him. Suddenly this imagination became too real. I could feel his heartbeat through his shirt. His shirt which was not the same shirt he wore the day I punched him, but the shirt he was wearing when we got to the library today.
My eyes fly open to indeed see what I thought I was imagining. I immediately let go of James and pushed him away. He looked at me confused as I wrapped my arms around myself. I had gotten so lost in my thoughts I didn't realize when I had come back to reality.
"I don't know if I should keep kissing you or slap the fuck out of you," I glare at James' lips and scowl.
"Well, you could do both while we fu-"
"Shut the hell up! I can't believe you did that." I don't exactly yell but my voice was not quiet.
"In my defense, you kissed back. And wrapped your arms around me which, if I'm being honest, felt really nice." James gave me a genuine shy smile and I drop my arms. He moves closer to me, slowly putting his arms around me to test the waters then pulls me in to a hug where he rests his head on top of mine.
We stay like that for what feels like an hour, neither of us uttering a word.
That kiss was...nice. It felt good. That wasn't by anymeans my first, but it certainly was the best.
I suddenly stand back. What was I doing? I can't let myself melt in his arms or under his touch. If we dated and broke up, The Red's were more likely to target the ex's. The ex girlfriends of James team mates all transfered schools to get away.
"Ray..?" James asked soft and hesitantly. I look up at him, seeing the real him for the first time, the raw emotion he was allowing me to see in this moment. My heart wilted at what I was going to say.
"I'm sorry... I cant. It's risky just being involved with you working on this project, it's not a good idea to take this a step further." sighing, I look at the ground. When he doesn't say anything I look back up again and he hardened his facial features back up. I cleared my throat and straightened my shoulders. "if you would please finish editing the slides, I'm uh..I'm going to head out and once we present tomorrow I think we should uh... not see each other anymore."
I start to back up and when he doesn't reach for me I turn, collect my things, and leave the library as fast as I can.
