Nobody knew how afraid I really was. I know i shouldn't have screwed up my life the way I had, but I hadn't meant to. I just didn't know how to deal with my dad's death. He killed himself. He didn't want to be here with us anymore. We weren't good enough. Was I just supposed to be okay with this? No! I shouldn't have reacted the way I did though, but still. You can't convince me this is all my fault. Well you really could, but that's beside the point.
