Discovering Love--A Jisol Fic

Breaking Point

Joshua was jumping on the bed when Hansol walked back into the room.

"Please get down from there," Hansol said sighing.

Joshua giggled childishly and continued jumping. "You can't tell me what to do," he replied in English.

"Joshua why are you drunk?" Hansol asked.

"I'll only answer if you ask in English," Joshua said.

Hansol sighed. "Why are you drunk?" he asked in English.

Joshua stopped jumping and landed on the bed sitting down. "Because of you, dummy," Joshua said.

Hansol had been expecting it. "Why exactly?" He knew he was taking advantage of the fact that Joshua was drunk but it might be his only chance to get the answers he needed.

Joshua stuck out his tongue and crossed his arms. "I'm not telling you."

"Please Joshua," Hansol pushed.

Joshua shook his head.

Hansol moved to sit next to Joshua on the bed. "Joshua, I know you probably won't remember this tomorrow, but, I'm sorry, I really am—for whatever it is I did."

Joshua sighed and rested his head on Hansol's shoulder—much to Hansol's surprise.

"Why do you have to be so... you? You're all sweet and handsome—you make it so hard being mad at you."

"You don't have to be mad at me," Hansol said, "let's just forget about what happened and start over."

Joshua picked his head up and looked Hansol in the eye. "We can't—no. Yeah, no, we can't. You—I, I can't let myself be hurt by you anymore."

Hansol wanted to bury himself in a hole and never come out. "I never meant to hurt you Joshua, please believe me."

Joshua shook his head. "It's not your fault—it's mine, I let myself fall for you and I shouldn't have."

Hansol didn't know what to say.

"I'm tired," Joshua said as if the last few minutes hadn't happened. "Hansol do you want to sleep on the right or the left? I usually sleep on the left but it's okay if you want to."

"Sleep wherever you want, I'll sleep on the couch," Hansol said. He knew it would be useless confessing to a drunk Joshua that his feelings weren't one sided. "Why don't you take a shower? I'm going to step out for a minute."

Hansol didn't know where he was going, nor did he care. He wondered down the silent halls of the massive hotel without a destination in mind.

He eventually found himself at the entrance to a pool—Pool C he assumed, since he hadn't seen it before. He was surprised it was open this late.

He rolled up the bottom of his pants and put his feet into the water.

He was at the brink tears—squeezing his eyes shut to keep the drops from pooling in his eyes.

He tried to focus on other things, but his mind kept going back to his conversation with Joshua.

"I let myself fall for you"

Joshua felt something for Hansol, but Hansol had been too much of a coward to admit his feelings. The first person he ever felt a genuine caring for had slipped through his fingers without him even noticing.

The tears started coming involuntarily, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably with his sobs.

He buried his face in his hands.