Chapter 1 *Josh's Point Of View*
I open my eyes after having about an hours sleep, the nightmares are a killer if I am totally honest. I find that I am like my character Peeta in that I can wake myself up without screaming. But Jennifer can’t, and she has been screaming on and off all night. This has also ended up waking our son Oliver up and he has been crying because he is tired.
I slip out of bed and head for the bathroom, as I know I am way passed the point of getting any more sleep. I flick the shower on, strip off my t-shirt and boxers and get in. I let the hot water wash over me, trying to feel more awake and less like a zombie. Yesterday I lost one of my best friends to a vampire and I can’t believe that it is less than fourteen hours ago that he died. I feel my eyes welling up and I am just glad that I am alone and that the water from the shower can wash away any tears that might fall. I am so tired but I know that I have to be strong for my family, but mainly for Jennifer, she is really taking this badly. I am just glad that we haven’t told our son yet. It is some thing that we are both not looking forward to. He is at the age where he will ask too many questions that we can’t answer. But he needs to know that his uncle Jason isn’t here any more.
I get out of the shower and dry off a little before sticking on some clean clothes. I know that it is time to see if Jennifer is awake or not yet. I count to ten before I open the door, knowing that I need to be calm and strong for Jennifer. From where I stand in the bathroom door way I can see that Jennifer is sitting up and looking at her phone. I sigh and take a step forward “I didn’t wake you did I?” she looks up at me and smiles at me a little “no you didn’t, I couldn’t sleep any more, I love you” “I love you too Jen you know that”. She puts her phone back on the bedside side table and gets up. She walks to me and puts her arms around me “did yesterday really happen?” I wish I that I could tell her that it is just a dream and that Jason will be here with Jack in a little while, but sadly I can’t. “Sadly yesterday really did happen and just like you I miss him. This should never have happened to him”. I wrap my arms around her back and hold her tightly, it hurts so much knowing that some one that is always here is gone. I am trying to control myself knowing that I can’t cry, I need to be strong for my family I can’t cry. Even though I feel like I have lost my brother right now.
“Hey are you ok?” Jennifer whispers and I can’t hold the tears any more, I feel one run down my cheek and I know then that I need to let go. “Jen he was one of my best friends, I can’t believe that we wont see him again” Jennifer hugs me tighter “I know Josh it is so hard knowing that he wont be here any more, I am going to miss him so much” Jennifer lets her own tears fall as well now “how are we going to tell Oliver?” “I don’t know, I wish I did” I say while wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, I also hold her while she cries.
“Why is mommy crying?” our three year old son asks. I have no idea how I am going to answer this question, but I go for it “she is crying for uncle Jason” “why is that daddy?” I walk over to Oliver’s bed and pick him up. “sadly we wont be seeing uncle Jason any more, he has gone away” “where has he gone daddy?” I think about my answer for a few moments “he has gone to a special place where most of us can’t go, not yet anyway. His heart stopped working Oliver and he is in a special place called heaven”
I sit next the Jennifer on the bed with Oliver in my arms. He wriggles out of my arms and holds out his own arms to Jennifer. She pulls him to her and he snuggles in her arms. “I am sorry mommy I love you” she smiles and kisses the top of his head “I love you too sweetie. Sorry we had to tell you about uncle Jason”. Oliver rested his hand on Jennifer’s baby bump “if I have a baby brother you should call them Jason” I cant believe that I have just hear my three year old son say that to us. But I guess that would be an idea to call them Jason if we are having another boy. “that isn’t a bad idea we will think about that Oliver”.
