Probably the dankest meme to walk into Seven Lakes High School, Harold McGee stood in his old bedroom back from high school. The fond memories of his teenage years flooded his thoughts as he looked through his old relics from decades ago. He uncovered his ancient relics, which included his football from his prime, and reminisced of the old days, dominated by his alpha male presence on the football field. He vividly remembered the time he completely dismantled the opposing team just through his trash talk... the good days. His athleticism and determination to "shit on betas" was matched by no other at his level, drawing attention from dozens of colleges around the nation. His superiority impressed everyone around his old high school, gaining respect of thousands. He could've made millions with this career, but today he made less than his uncivilized counterpart. He thought about what could've been if he had pursued football as his career. He probably wouldn't be giving lectures about his careless students, incapable of following directions, or reading any of his provided notes or resources. He wouldn't need to worry about his students sweating bullets on the AP, or even that one time in Aruba when he went tubin'. But how did it all change? Why did his life shift so drastically? Where did he go from rising star to dank computer science meme? As he winded his mind all the way back, it eventually came back to him, the catalyst for his illustrious career as the goat himself.
A 17-year old Harold McGee, nearing the end of his junior year in high school lay in bed, staring at his broken left arm. The doctors had told him that he would probably never be able to play football again, ending his possible collegiate future with the sport. The night that it all happened had plagued his mind for days. The adolescent had many regrets, but nothing more than looking at some dank memes while descending down a staircase at night. The memory was so clear that he could feel the pain again and again just with just recalling how he had missed a step and tumbled down, landing on his arm and damaging it permanently. But now, he needed to move on. He stared at his course selection sheet, trying to decide what to do with his final year without sports.
There was nothing offered on this sheet that could possibly display his alpha mentality effectively that didn't involve sports. He groaned and laid back on his wall, staring at the posters of many colleges that he had lost the opportunity to attend through his foolishness. What career could he go into that would allow him to assert dominance over hundreds of people? His 200 IQ mind raced with dozens of options. Business, taxi driver, fast food worker, teacher-. Teacher. Teaching could be his medium of ruling over many and spreading his alpha personality. But what could he teach? He glanced back down at his course selection sheet and pondered what he could teach. Not english, as he often had trouble reading instructions. Not math, as he would be incapable of adding scores together. Science had never really fascinated the young man. History had not interested him in any manner, as he often forgot what occured on the previous day. His eyes traversed the paper until they landed upon his destiny. AP Computer Science A. Computer science. He never was really talented with computers, but he know his 200 IQ would be able to pick up the subject quickly. He knew at once that this was the path that he needed to take in order to spend decades, roasting teenagers and giving lectures about failing test grades. This was it. This was the future of Harold McGee. As he circled computer science to complete his schedule, he filled with excitement for the new school year. At the time, he never had any idea of the bullets his students would be sweating, the blue pelicans in the sky, or even any of the textbooks or websites he would copy questions from for assessments. He never knew that his name would live on for years within the hearts of his old students, or even the monkey he was to make less than. What was in store for him was an adventure that he could never have imagined.
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Historical FictionThe early years of the goat himself, Harold "Harold1" McGee.