My Suicide Note

-5-

Dearest, I feel certain that I am going mad again.

I feel we can't go through another of those terrible times.

And I shan't recover this time.

I begin to hear voices, and I can't concentrate.

So I am doing what seems the best thing to do.

You have given me the greatest possible happiness.

You have been in every way all that anyone could be.

I don't think two people could have been happier 'til this terrible disease came.

I can't fight any longer.

I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work.

And you will I know.

You see I can't even write this properly.

Ican't read.

What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you.

You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good.

I want to say that – everybody knows it.

If anybody could have saved me it would have been you.

Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness.

I can't go on spoiling your life any longer.

I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been.