◇Fuck Society◇

Past Feelings For Boys

It all started wayyy back in the beginning of the school year. When i met him (I'm not trying on purpose to sound corny okay so don't judge me) I don't know what made me start to like him I guess it was because he would always make me laugh in class and we had a lot of things in common, he was the class clown and I was..i don't know what I am but I was definitely not friends with the popular kids like he was. It's kinda sad because I don't think he would ever feel the same way and I feel like he only sees me as a classmate and that's it.

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I don't want to sound weird or cocky but I feel like I have this affect on people, it's like people I think are attractive never talk to me but instead they just stare at me at random times whenever they run into me. When I was still going to my old school 2 years ago I took the bus home everyday and then this one day I saw this boy, i instantly thought he was really cute I still remember him so clearly he had light paleish skin, dark brown curly hair, black framed glasses and a dark red hoodie on with his bookbag of course. I awkwardly stood on the crowded bus just a few inches away from him staring at him, eventually he noticed me looking and stared back at me the look on his face was so unexpressionless. Ever since that day we've been running into each other on the same bus over and over again but we still never talked and that's the part I still regret to this day. Then after a few mouths pasted I just stopped seeing him and I thought I would never see him ever again, and then finally after a whole year had pasted I saw him again. I was sitting at the back of the bus next to my bookbag when I looked up and saw him in a crowd of people standing up because all the seats were taken, I looked at him as all the memories started to flow back. He glimpsed back at me before hopping off the bus and walking away, that was the last time I ever saw him.

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Back in 6th grade just a few years ago I dated this guy, let's just call him...kent. Well me and Kent met through mutual friends since I was new to the school at the time. We started to hangout every single day after the first few months of meeting each other it was all going great, I thought he was a good guy since he would always be nice to me and talk to me. Than on one specific day after school as me, him and a few of our friends were playing kickball in the school yard he asked me to walk him to the store so I did, and as we were walking he told me he liked me and I told him I liked him back then we decided to go out simple as that. Then not even a few months of us dating later he broke up with me for my best friend who I thought was my friend but really wasn't she just wanted everything I had including my boyfriend, karma bite him right back in the ass when a few days later she dumped him for some other guy. I still follow him on my socials till this day but I haven't talked to him in years.

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This one day when I was hanging out with my two best friends at subway we decided to leave and walk down the big main street nearby, as we were talking and laughing about some random stuff a guy popped out of a car and said something loud enough for all of us to hear. He said that his friend thought I was cute but of course I didn't believe he was talking to me, I thought he was talking to my other female friend because she always got hit on instead of me. Anyway after me and my friends laughed and talked to the guy for a few minutes he finally called his friend to get out of the car and talk to me. When the guy did I instantly got really awkward and nervous because that's just how I am around new people, he had ginger hair, glasses and really pale skin but he had a cute smile and after talking to him for a little bit his personality was pretty cool too. I don't talk to him anymore because we pretty much just went our own separate ways but he was one of the sweetest guys I've ever met.

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I saved the worst for last, my shitty ex boyfriend from last summer. This guy I have known since I was in 4th grade when me, him our younger sisters, my little sisters best friend and two other kids from our neighborhood hungout together outside for days on end. Then this one day we talked about it and started going out, at first when we started to tell our friends we were just two awkward, nervous little kids not knowing what they were doing than after a bad break up and me moving away we disconnected. Than randomly one day we started talking again through texts and decided to hangout for the first time in years. He came on wayy to strong for my liking but the one thing that made my heart melt was when I was walking up to him and his friends in front of his grandma's corner store and as soon as he saw me and stood up and bolted towards me wrapping me in a tight hug literally almost pushing me off balance. But under all the cute stuff he was super clingy and weird telling me to sit next to him and joking inappropriately with his guy friends about me and him, even after weeks since that day he tried to plan out a scheme so that him and I could sleep together at his house but clearly I didn't go through with it and because of that he dumped me.