You Are Loved

Jamie sighed. Today was just like all the other days. People avoided eye contact as she walked down the halls. They always did. She had considered leaving without any of her books. She hated this place. This prison they called school. But, she hated home more. The place of constant arguments, constant hate. Her parents had had another fight last night. Nothing new. As always, she felt unwanted and unloved. No matter where she went no one cared. No one.

She worked her combination quickly and swung the door open. She absentmindedly swung the backpack off her shoulder, holding it with one hand. Reaching for her books, she stopped short. There was a note sitting on her locker shelf. It was folded like they used to in elementary school. Putting down her bag she grabbed the note. She opened it with a slight pull to the front tab. Written on the note in scrawling letters was simply: You Are Loved.

Jamie stared at the note inquisitively. Obviously, it was a mistake. This couldn't be meant for her. Nobody loved her. She was worthless. How had it gotten in her locker? No one knew the combination except for her. Shaking her head she shoved the note in her jacket pocket while she continued packing her backpack. Shutting her locker, she made sure the lock was secured tightly.

~ ~ ~

The fighting was worse than usual. Jamie covered her ears as she heard glass breaking. Probably another plate. She groaned. She just wanted her parents to stop fighting. Just silence. She wasn't asking for a miracle. They didn't have to get along, just to stop fighting. Maybe she would go far a walk. She slipped on her jacket as she made sure her door was locked. She quietly worked the nob back and forth to ensure that no one would be coming in. She nodded in approval and headed over to her window. She pushed it open and climbed onto the tree branch directly outside of her room. She climbed down the tree with ease. She did this almost daily. It was her only escape. As she walked towards the park she absentmindedly put her hands in her pocket. She felt the note hit her fingers. She allowed a shadow of a smile to cross her lips. Maybe someone did care.

~ ~ ~

She entered her school, keeping her eyes on the ground. She felt hot tears stain her cheeks as she kept walking. No one asked her what was wrong. No one cared. Her father had left last night and he wasn't coming back. She didn't understand what was happening. Her father wasn't a nice man. All he did was fight with her mom. So why did she care he was gone? She supposed it was just because he was her father. She couldn't think of any other reason.

She wiped the tears out of her eyes as she did her combination. She focused extra hard on the four numbers. 1701. Oh, right. Her dad had introduced her to Star Trek. He wasn't always mean. It really had only been the last couple of years. A fresh wave of tears was flowing before she got the locker opened. There was a note. A different fold, but the same basic style. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve before she reached for it. Opening it she stared at the three words: You are important. It was written in the same handwriting as the first. She flipped the note over, on the other side was written: John 3:16. Jamie had no idea what this meant.

Underneath the note was a book. The word BIBLE was written on the front. She picked it up, curious as to how this was in her locker. She flipped through the first few pages. There seemed to be a sort of table of contents at the front. One of the chapters was named John. Maybe this had something to do with the strange words. Flipping to the correct page, she found 3:16. It read:

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him, should not perish but have everlasting life."

She read it again, and again, and again. Surely she wasn't reading this right. God loved her? Well, it said the world, but, wasn't she part of the world? He gave his son? What exactly did that mean?

The warning bell rang, breaking her train of thought. She put the Bible in her bag along with the necessary books and headed to class.

~ ~ ~

She raced to her locker after her last class. Hoping beyond all hoping for another note. It was the first thing she had looked forward to for a long time. She had to try her combination three times due to the excitement. She had read some more of the Book. About a man named Jesus who died for her. How he loved her. She swung her locker door opened and was thrilled to see another note. This one shaped like a heart. She opened it, nearly squealing with delight. It read: Swingset 4:00. Looking down at her watch she smiled. Taking the Book out of her bag she threw the rest back in. She wasn't going to be late.

~ ~ ~

She was there on time. Four O'clock exactly. Jamie patiently sat on the swings, swinging lightly with her feet still on the ground. She began to worry her hope was in vain until she saw him. A teenage boy, probably the same age as her. He came and sat in the empty swing next to her.

"Jamie," he said quietly. she nodded.

"And you?" she asked glancing at him. He was a nice looking guy. Dark brown hair with the eyes to match it. They looked like chocolate. They were comforting. He smiled revealing two dimples.

"I'm Shawn," he said sheepishly. "I hope you don't mind all the notes, I probably shouldn't have sneaked into your locker." He looked away, avoiding eye contact.

"How did you..." she started to ask when he suddenly looked up at her. The life in his eyes took her breath away. He saw joy. True joy. Something she hadn't seen in a long time.

"I, well, I saw that you carried a Star Trek notebook. I decided it wouldn't hurt to try, well you know, and I guess I was right." he smiled. "I hope you don't mind."

"No, I-I don't mind. I mean, why? Why did you say those things?" she couldn't contain her curiosity any longer.

"Because they're true," he answered back kindly. She looked at him with bewilderment.

"But, how?" she finally asked.

"Did you get the Bible?" he asked.

"Yes," she said holding up the Book that she had been holding in her lap. "It said God loved me. That Jesus died for me."

"He does Jamie, loves you I mean. And Jesus did die for you." Shawn nodded his head enthusiastically.

"But why, how? He's, well He's God, and I'm... me." She finished quietly.

He looked at her with eyes full of compassion. "Because you matter Jamie. You matter and you are loved."

~ ~ ~

They had talked for hours and while Jamie didn't understand everything, she understood God loved her. God loved her even when she felt like no one else did. She had prayed and asked Jesus to be her Saviour.

Days went by and she began to be happy. Truly happy like she never remembered being. Shawn had begun to hang out with her. Sitting with her at lunch and the occasional class that they shared. She had a friend. Something she hadn't had since elementary school.

While life wasn't perfect, she was loved. And for now, that was enough.