The clouds blocked out the rays of the sun, dulling everything under the sky. I might have had too much to drink. Sud's brown face was paler than usual. His pants were tattered and covered with mud. He had been working all day at the castle, training and working under the knights of the Crowned States of Eukaryote.
'You deserve a break, Sud. Let's get you laid,' I said, my voice slurred with alcohol.
He gave me a look, that said, 'I don't have enough money on me. 5 gold is not enough for a prostitute.'
I flashed him my signature smile and said, 'I have 5 gold too. I just got kicked out of my own house with only some small change. I don't have anything to do right now. so REJOICE! The sex god, Daegon, will be your fucking wingman for today! With me, girls will come in flocks!'
He sighed and decided to go with the flow. Dragging him along, I took him to the most prestigious brothel in town, famed for their beautiful prostitutes. Unfortunately, standing as a guard in front of the front entrance was a giant orc warrior. His single eye glared down at us and his grip on his battle cleaver tightened. A drunk and a timid fighter. What a sight we made.
'You want in? You pay,' the orc grunted.
'Can I pay with a bucket of cum?' I joked, giving him a sly smile. His stone expression was of one who was not amused.
'5 gold per entry,' the orc grunted, pretending he did not hear me.
Sud shot me a worried look. 5 gold per entry meant that we would have no money to pay for their "services".
Using the element of surprised, I withdrew my sling from my pouch and shot a stone towards the orc's face. He noticed my surprised attack and promptly dodged. His face was no longer professional sternness. It was now tainted with annoyance and disgust. He started to approach us with his cleaver readied for battle. Sud picked up an old guitar and tried to smash it down on the orc's head but the neck of the guitar broke right before contact. The orc glared at Sud and slashed down at him with the cleaver. Sud just barely survived the attack, rolling out of the way with a wound on his chest. Blood dripped down from his shirt onto the ground.
'HEY! DIDN'T YOUR ORC MOTHER TEACH YOU NOT TO HIT HUMANS?' I shouted at him. That was the worst decision I've ever made in years. Charging head-first towards me while swinging his battle cleaver. I narrowly dodge his attack, receiving only a light scratch. Even in my drunken state, I could tell we were pretty much fucked if we were to fight him.
Taking out a piece of gold, I threw it at him while shouting 'FETCH, BEAST!'
The orc knocked it away with his hand and charged towards me again. At this point, I had already forgotten about Sud, who was trying to sneak away from us into the brothel. That idiot! Does he not realise 5 gold pieces from him isn't enough for "services"?
Sprinting at top speed, I made my way away from the orc. As we both ran away from the brothel, Sud manages to sneak in despite the orc noticing him. Between chasing me and catching Sud, I guessed his choice was me, the man who insulted his mother and threw rocks at him. Despite his efforts, I did feel a bit sorry for the orc. The distance between us was widening every passing second. The thought must have occurred to the orc too because he stopped mid-chase and ran back to the brothel, in hopes of keeping his job as a bouncer.
I breathed a sigh of relief and sat down on the ground. Today was definitely not my lucky day.
***
Sud was speaking with the woman at the front desk and was trying his very best to look dignified and elegant while wearing his bloody tattered clothes. However, the woman was very professional. Whoever gets in will receive the proper hospitality.
'Give me your prettiest prostitute,' Sud said while placing his 5 gold pieces on the counter.
The woman smiled sympathetically and replied, 'I'm sorry, sir. 5 gold pieces is simply not enough. Leana is the jewel of our fine establishment and she is worth at least 30 gold pieces for an hour. Maybe I could connect you with another prostitute if you are confident in your resistance to sexually contracted diseases.'
'Who is she?' Sud asked.
'We don't know. She came into our establishment a few weeks ago with a note asking for a job here. She has not spoken a single word since she arrived due to her lack of teeth.'
Sud sighed. Today was definitely not his lucky day. Glancing behind him, he notices the orc approaching from about 15 feet away. Shit. He dashed further into the brothel, passing locked doors, in the hopes of hiding behind one of them. He opened a door near the end of the corridor and hid. The orc barely missed him, entering the neighbouring room, interrupting a customer and his prostitute.
That resulted in the immediate loss of his job. In celebration of him, surviving the day, he whipped out his penis and masturbated to the dead corpse of the prostitute lying on the bed.
