This past week has been nothing but utter shit. For starters last month my father died. Should I be feeling this heartbroken after all that has happened in our family? Well... I'm not entirely sure. I feel like I owe it to him to be strong, but I can't possibly bring myself to do that. I'm fighting my inner demons that claw at me. Telling me I should have treated my father differently. I know I should have but at the time I believed kindness was a two-way street. If only I knew what was about to happen.
To put the icing on the cake a girl who screwed me over one too many times did it yet again. Someone I actually considered a friend looked me dead in the eye and then proceeded to make out with my crush right in front of me. Her excuse was that I was not going to make a move anyway. Even if I was going to stay crushing on him for all of eternity does not mean she had the "right" to make her move. Especially not when I was in the room.
Needless to say this had been the worst week of my life. I was attempting to slay my demons but somehow they came creeping back in with more to slay. I feel suffocated by society's expectations and my own wants and needs.
Lesson for the day: Watch out for ones closest to you.
Logging off, Nafs
