Just like everyone, Ben begin his studies since the age of three. He has been the average in studies and nil in sports. Timid. Never able to face straight and would look away when being observed. He had always tried to be smart because he knows he is not smart enough to stand amongst the man. All he felt is guilt of something unknown to himself and in constant search for peace. The fellow teenagers around him had everything as so he thought and felt. They make fun and laugh, they had a company be it good or for the worst. In them he could see life which he somehow felt lacking in himself.
Every time, it's a mess when he tries to socialise that makes him question himself
Can someone be in society that he doesn't feel comfortable?
He couldn't seem to fit himself in a society because he doesn't felt like he belong to the particular society he lived in and grows amongst.
Days and then years passes by. His teen age was a ruin. The only thing he achieved was the average grade in academy. That being said, the hard worked achievement in academy was until then, the past years. Now, he had given up everything.
I have been studying my whole life, what good does it brings for me? If only i have been born a royalty.
Silent as he thinks about his status in reality life. Deep inside himself is being devoured by the unknown. Guilty and in pain for a reason he doesn't really know. A scream wouldn't be enough to ease his guilt and pain, a momentary satisfaction of relieve yet he couldn't have. Silence is what he does.
Praying and Summoning an early death each time he feels tired within himself. He is hopeless. Lifeless. What kills him?
Everyone eventually led his own life
Family, that doesn't ease his pain. Friend, in whom he feels no life. Warmth or cold, he matters not. Love is a delusion. Family and friends are just illusions. He is in hallucination. How good is his life?
Wake up from this reality, Ben. How? Is what he will question without hesitation. How vague? How scary? He will do anything to get himself out of his reality. The God has always been silent and is blind for him too. How much does Ben worth, anyway?
Whimpers and mourns for himself secretly. Who has an eye to see him? Does he wants to be seen? He has been forsaken. Now, he waits for something unknown.
