hiding secrets - trixya

chapter 2 - shrugged off

i got the news that brian came back from australia, i didn't want to text him, or call him just to be safe. i went to starbucks with aaron & justin to get my mind off of everything. we sat down and i explained what happened to them, trying to hide my tears.

"that's fucked up, do you need me to text him?"

aaron grabbed my jaw and stared at my red, puffy face with tear stains on my cheeks.

"no, no you don't have to—"

too late. justin took aaron's phone and started texting brian's number.

'can you meet justin and i at starbucks? possibly meet us at 5:00?'

"justin! what is he gonna do if he sees me?!"

"brian, calm your shit, you're gonna be fine."

checked the time, it's 4:38pm, i still have time before he gets here so i just put in my earbuds and listen to some music to calm down.

i felt a tap on my shoulder to see aaron show me the time and sync the words 'he's almost here'. it's now 5:02pm. i sorta just got lost in my thoughts, i put away my phone and just stared at my fists. it's going to be okay.. everything will be okay..

i heard a familiar voice coming from across the room.... and the voice i didn't wanna hear. they both filled up my mind. brian brought the guy. justin gestured me to get up and say hi to brian, i did and we both just stared at each other for a good 10 seconds before he wrapped his arms around me.

"why didn't you text me?"

"i did.. but was threatened by your boyfriend to stop texting you."

his eyes widened, staring at him, then me, then him and on like that. brian took the guy to the corner and looked like he was gonna scream.. but he didn't, thankfully. he came back,

"i'm sorry i didn't see it.. he deleted the messages"

he whispered to me as we sat down, brian sitting beside this guy and me squished between aaron and justin. conversation filled my ears, i was deep in my thoughts, before i heard my name being called by brian.

"brian.. i forgot to mention, this is tyler."

tyler and i both made eye contact, not for long though, we both didn't like each other and that was pretty clear. he clearly did not wanna be in the same room as me, and i totally felt the same.

after about ten minutes of talking, i left because of anxiety, stress and just plain on being uncomfortable as hell. driving, slowly, down the road, rethinking everything. i really do love that man, the man that is in love with someone else. tears streamed down my face as i pulled into my driveway. i walked inside, my body wants to die of sadness. sooner or later, a ding on my phone goes off, it was a text from brian.

bf: hey.. tyler is going out to a family thing tonight and won't come back for the next few days. wanna come over?

at first, my brian told me to just stay home and have a relaxing night, but i really wanted to go to brian's.

bm: i'll be there in 30 minutes.

done. i threw my phone on the other side of the bed and just sighed. got in my car about ten minutes later and drove silently there. my hand, a few centimetres away from the door, flinched before opening the door. am i really doing this? just as i was about to knock brian opened the door, startling me. we both hugged, it lasted for a very long time. we haven't hugged - or made contact in general - for the past two weeks besides the two second hug at starbucks. he let go, we stared at each other for a few seconds, i noticed red stain marks on his face.

"brian, were you crying?"

i cupped his face with my hand and rested my forehead on his.

"n-no."

"okay.."

we went to sit on his couch as we talked about things in life, until tyler came up in the conversation.

"how did you meet him..?"

silence, i genuinely wanted to know how he popped in the picture but i didn't wanna make brian feel uncomfortable in any way.

"we met at a bar.. remember that one time we went to a bar somewhere in Los Angeles and i said i had to go to the bathroom but never came back?"

"yeah..."

silence was there in our presence for a few seconds. felt like years just waiting for his response.

"that's because i hooked up with him."

i mean, i did get angry & sad. knowing that he left me for another guy is upsetting but the entire time i tried to keep my cool. i nodded, then rested my head in his lap, feeling his fingers go through my hair.

we fell asleep like this — and i loved every second of it.