reckless ; a short story

6

     I wake up to the smell of syrup and bacon. I'm a very picky eater. I don't like bacon, and I only like a certain amount of syrup on anything. I don't like ketchup, or cake, or potato chips, or macaroni and cheese, etc. There's only a few things I will eat.

     I force myself out of bed and walk into the kitchen. Jeremy is making pancakes and bacon. "You want some bacon?" He asks shoving a piece towards my face. I turn my head in disgust. "What, you think I poisoned it or something?" He asks "No, I just don't like bacon." I say. "What?!?!?" he yells, dumbfounded. "I know right?" I say. "What else do you not like?" He asks. and I give him a huge lists that includes ham, broccoli, green beans, cupcakes, icing, brownies, dark soda, and many more. "Why the hell are you so damn picky?" he asks. "I dunno. I can't help it." I say. "That's probably why you're so tiny and short. you need to eat your green beans." he says. "I'm not short! Or tiny!" I say in my defense. "Yeah, you are." He says. "Whatever." I say, everybody tells me that i'm too tiny. I don't see what they see. "Pancakes? Or will you even eat that?" he asks. "I will." I say taking a pancake and putting the tiniest bit of syrup on it.

     He sits down beside of me, looks at my pancake, and it's small amount of syrup on it. Then he grabs the syrup and drowns his pancakes in it. "ewwww!" I say. He takes a huge bite of it and syrup is dripping everywhere. "You're so messy!" I scold him, laughing. "Sorry, Mom." he says grabbing a napkin to wipe the syrup from his chin. "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth." I ask. "I would but she's with Noah." He says with a blank face. He does that a lot, It's practically impossible to read him when he does it. I just wish I could read his mind so I could know what he was thinking. "Well, Noah doesn't kiss me." I say, not really knowing what else to say. "He's boring isn't he?" Jeremy asks. "What do you mean, West?" I ask. "He's boring, and awkward, and there's no spark when you're together." He says. I don't want to admit it, but he's right. But I'm not going to admit it, not yet. "I don't know what you mean." I say, taking a bite of pancake. "Yes you do, you just don't want to admit it because you know you feel that spark with me," He says smiling "You're probably wondering how I know this, It's because I feel it too. And something that strong could never be one sided, Evans." He says. He's right. He's fucking right. "I don't feel anything for you." I say. Damn, that was kind of mean. "I know you're lying." He says, he doesn't seem affected by my words. "I'm not lying."

     I don't want to admit I feel something when I'm with him, and when I'm not. He will never make me fall for him. "You're just another guy who's going to break my heart, therefore, I feel nothing for you." I say. "You're never going to give that up are you?" He says shaking his head. "No, because I know you. and Your reputation does not meet my expectations." I say. "You don't know me. You know about what people say about me. They don't know the truth. Only I do." He says. "Then tell me." I say.  He turns away, then says "People think I've slept with every girl that comes around, but it's not that way. I mean yeah, I've slept with a fair share of tools but, I've never been in love." He says. "Tools?" I ask, disapproving his choice of words. "You know, the girls that every dude has slept with, The party girls that get wasted and high as hell and then go home with the first guy they see." he says. "Oh." Now I get it. "I've never had meaningful sex. I've never experienced what it feels like to be in love with somebody." he says. He seems kind of sad over that. "Me either." I say. "I thought I was in love with Tanner, and I thought he loved me, but the abuse was just too intense. He only wanted to hurt me." I blurt out. "Abuse?" he asks. "Huh?" I say, trying to play it off like I didn't say that. I turn away, i'm the worst liar. He touches my arm and turns me around, softly and slowly. "I knew things didn't end well with you two, but no one ever told me anything about abuse." He says, concern now filled in his eyes. I pull my pant leg up, to show him my huge scar.

"this was the last time I say him, I had found out that he fucked Ally, and when I confronted him about it, the argument got a little heated and he pushed me and I had to have 30 stitches. I don't know, it was probably my fault I was just being dramatic." I say. Jeremy doesn't say anything. I realize that i'm about to cry, there's a tear about to leave my blue eyes. He's staring right at my eyes, as soon as the tear falls I try to turn away, I hate when people see me cry. But when I try to turn away, He turns me back around and wipes my tear, he then just pulls me into a hug. "I could literally fucking kill him right now." He says. I let more tears fall, at this point i'm practically sobbing into his chest. He realizes I am, "don't cry." He whispers. But he knows it's not going to work, so he just holds me tighter. Usually he knows exactly what to say, but I've caught him in a moment of vulnerability.