The Wait (On Hold)

Day 17

We sleep in most of the day. There's still a pillow between us but I'm mostly lying on it...and at some point during the early hours of the day Atlas moved closer and buried his nose in my neck. I hear him draw a deep breath in and somehow, his body settles deeper into the mattress. I don't even know if he's awake as he does this, but I don't move away. His scent sinks into me, aftershave and man and it lulls me back to sleep.

Home. I feel at home.

I wake up when I feel a hollowness in my stomach. I start to stretch, before I still, realising that Atlas was still asleep...his face pressed against the sensitive skin of my throat. I can feel his breaths brushing my collarbone and its warmth sends shivers down my spine. I stay still, unwilling to move or wake him from his slumber. I close my eyes and draw deep breaths in, trying to breathe through the emotions that were now clouding my mind and heart but it does no good because with air, comes Atlas. Everything about him, including his closeness threatened to push me closer to the fall that will take me nowhere.

Breathe, Lenny, Silent coaxes.

I breathe. I slowly draw Silent out, pulling Lenny to deep, safe drawers within. To my surprise, Lenny submits to the suppression easily and I realize that it's because she knows that she can come out whenever he's around. Because he ensured that. I mentally shake my head at her and she smiles coyly.

Silent settles into her skin and I relax. Because with Silent, comes more control. Control was good. If I wanted to protect myself, control was good. But even as Silent I'm unwilling to move a muscle, lest I disturbed the lion curled against me...and I realize that even as Silent I was as much in love with Atlas as Lenny was. Silent just hid it better, while Lenny walked with her heart on her sleeve.

At that moment, while I had my epiphany, my phone started to ring. Loudly. Obnoxiously. I press my eyes closed and sigh when I realize the sound was coming from near the wall and I remember that Atlas had thrown it. Even before I can move, the sound wakes Atlas up.

I feel the rhythm of his breathing change and it's a glorious experience. The first breath he takes upon waking is deeper...a deep inhalation and slow long exhalation. Then, his breaths grows lighter and softer against my skin. I feel something softly brush my skin and I realize it's his lashes. The muscles of his back flex and I stay extremely still uncaring of my phone as the lion wakes from his slumber and moves away from me. I watch with fascinated eyes as his head comes in the line of my sight and I can see his sleep heavy lids blinking into consciousness.

A lazy smile lifts his lips as he sees me watching him.

"Good morning, little creeper." he says and there's so much affection in it, I melt. But Silent was out, so my response is only a cool-eyed look.

His gaze grows sharper before he narrows his eyes at me, as he notices that Lenny was tucked away once more.

"Morning." I say, haughtily, as I start to get up, "And a gentlemen does not call a lady out on her slip-ups."

He's lifted himself up and the hand closest to me is wrapped around my forearm before I can so much as blink. I wait for my heartbeat to settle under the pretext of eyeing his arm on mine. I look up to meet his gaze once I can breathe again. His closeness and the dark indigo of his eyes still snatch my breath away.

"I'm no gentleman. And you're no lady." he says, his voice low and gruff.

I raise my eyebrows at him, "And what does that make us?"

His whole demeanour softens and the hold on me loosens and he drops my arm to lift his hand to run his knuckles along my cheek.

"You're Lenny. And I'm Atlas."