The Waiting Game

Chapter 2

The Waiting Game

Chapter2

                              "The first step in the road to recovery, is admitting you have a problem"

"What if"  Two words which seemed to be constantly muttered inside my head. Two words which are completely harmless by themselves, but once put together they were the foundations used to build a wall of insecurities. This wall would grow and grow until it was so high that the view of the outside world was blocked from site.

"What if I'd gotten to my locker earlier?"

"What if I hadn't stayed to speak to my teacher after class?"

"What if I hadn't brought the hoodie into school that day?"

"What if, what if, what if"

And the biggest of them all. Drum roll please...

"What if I had realised my brother was so unhappy?"

You see, that was the biggest problem. If I had somehow helped my brother before it was too late, all of this could have been avoided. My family might have actually had a chance at being happy.

Now I'm not saying we would have been a stereotypical, picture-perfect family. We were never gonna be one of those familys with 2.5 kids, a resue dog and a suburban house with a wrap-around porch and a white picket fence. But we would have had a chance. And that's all that really matters.

I can't help but feel like I'd failed somehow as a sister, I could have helped him. I don't know how but I should have. Would have. Should have. Could have...

After running away from the hospital I had found myself at a bus stop in the middle of nowhere. It was the kind of place excluded from the rest of the world. There were overgrown plants, pot hole covered roads and rickety old buildings. It had been forgotten about and had no one that really cared. A lot like me.

Anyway, sitting here, I couldn't help but feel even more at fault. I could have tried to find him. I could have maed an attempt to look for him. But instead I had lathed onto that old, ratty hoodie like a life line. I had fallen so far into the depths of despair that I hadn't even realised how far gone I was until I lost the only thing that kept me sane. 

The stale silence which allowed these thoughts to fester was broken by the screech of tires against the road. The sound drew my gaze towards an oncoming car. A very similar looking silver car.

The car slowed down as it approached me, which was an unnerving reflection of a kidnap scene in a film I had just watched, and it came to a dead halt directly in front of where I was sat. The  window rolled down, in a classic movie style, to reveal a relieved looking dark haired boy.

"Thank God...Lilly" He released on a pent up breath.

When he saw that I wasn't going to move he leaped out of his car in a hurried fashion.

He approached me slowly, not making a sound. Not even breathing, like he was preparing to jump into the deep end of a swimming pool. 

"Why did you do it?" My words even suprised me and Danny stopped short where he stood.

It took him a while to answer, and while he tried to think of a "feasable" excuse, the silence began to choke me. It's icey fingers wrapped it's fingers around my throught and I could feel the breath building up in my lungs. Like balloons ready to burst.

I'd always hated silence. I had to face the cold indifferene of my father and his stoney silence for hours everyday. That was the one thing school seemed to offer. The comforting buzz of chatter in the crowded hallways. 

Even with a long pause, it seemed all he could muster was a very weak:

"What?"

"Why. Did. You. Do. It?" I dragged out once again. "More so why are you helping now? I mean it's not like you give a fuck!" The swear word felt dirty, even in a situation like this, and I winced as I said it.

Suddenly confidence seemed to absorb him. It was like he had putback on that rebel bravado that he constanly paraded around school with.

He smirked as he replied "I just thought it would be a laugh."

I felt disbelief consume me as i thought "Where had the sweet caring guy gone from before?

"You thought it would be a laugh?!" I exclaimed in horror.

"Yeah." He replied casually. " I mean how was I supposed to know that you would at all crazy?"

"Please, please do not give me that bullshit!" I scoffed. "It's an insult to both of our intelligence. Not that you were even able to pass any of your classes cause you only bother to turn up once a month! Everyone in this godforsaken town knows what happened, so don't even try and lie to me!"

He just stared at me with a complete look of amused arrogance. Seriously who was this guy?! And how the hell had he changed so quickly?!

"You done?" he remarked.

I can't believe him, I seriously cannot believe him.

"No I am not done! You owe me, you so owe me!"

To my complete surprise he replied "Okay, name your price?"

I glared down at my scarred and peeling hands, they looked like they were straight out of a horror film, and the pain was excrutiating. 

Suddenly, an idea rooted itself in my head and I could almost imagine a little cartoon lightbulb appearing above me. I looked up slowly towards Danny and in a quiet voice I replied:

"You could help me find my brother" 

Thankyou so much for even attempting to read this hunk of junk!

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