Let Me In

Chapter 1

I have grown to love all things that shine or sparkle or twinkle. Lights, diamonds, stars, the moon, the sun, even the tiny dot in someone's eye while they stare at the shimmering water. 

I have realized that I love these things becasue this world is so dark with secrets and hate. And I can't do anything about it, so I looked for the answers in things that were clear as a day. In things that are luminous because I know there was no hiding there. Yes, it does sound rather naive, but that's how I choose to see things now. It makes me happy, even if it's just for a minute. 

The thing is, there aren't many things that make me happy anymore. I can actually name all of them. My younger sister is one of them. She doesn't even have to try, just looking at her makes me happy. She has always been such a free spirit, she makes you want to run out and do something you have always wanted to do, but were too afraid to. Her smile is contagious. There has to be something seriously wrong with you, if you didn't believe that. She is 17years old, and has probably had more joy in her life than I have, and I have been existing an extra 3 years.

I don't mind it though. Her having more joy in her life. I am actually quite grateful for that. 

It's crazy actually, that all these thoughts are going thorugh my head as I watch Bria laughing with her friend, Kynlee, as we wait in line for the ferris wheel. I hear a familiar sound in my head, and realize it's me laughing. Like I said, Bria's smile is contagious. 

I am happy at the moment though, we're sorrounded by lights at the carnival, so there's little shimmering dots in everyones eyes. Which makes me believe, I know everyone we pass by, and they've got nothing to hide. 

Naive. That's what I am. And I accept it. Wish I wasn't but I think that's all I can really be to survive this fucked up world with fucked up people. 

"Bella! Come on, let's sit next to each other." B yells for me as she runs to the ferris wheel. I love to call Bria, B. It's my nickname for her. It's one letter, but I feel like it has such sentimental value to me, maybe cause only I call her that. 

"Don't tip over. It's two of ya'll on that side and one of me over here." Kynlee warns us, and I get slightly nervous. 

I scoot to the edge of the seat so all our weight is focused in the middle. I have always been scared of heights, but I love the thrill of the rides. But there has always been something about being so high up in the air and just being chill about it, that freaks me out. Rollercoasters are different. Those are fast, so you have no time to even think about how high up you are. You're just focused on the thrill of the drops and loops and twists and turns. Ferris wheels are different. you are basically in the clouds and have to be calm about it, there is no thrill. 

But me. I am not calm about it. I will never show it, but I get so panicked and paranoid and anxious. Sort of like right now.

OH. MY. GOD.

My palms are sweaty and the air feels to thin up here for me. We are the highest point of this stupid ferris wheel. I try to focus on B talking to calm me down. 

"B, is this not scary to you. Cause you keep moving around and tipping this box over."

"No, what the hell. Are you scared?" She asks me with a small grin.

"No, hell no. I'm not scared." I grab on a squeeze tightly to the pole in the middle of this tiny box feet above the air. 

Kynlee and B start laughing, which brings relief to me. I relax my shoulders a bit and laugh with them. I think Bria noticed I was tense, and even though she didn't make it a big deal, she knew I was scared. I knew she knew because she held my hand on the way down. 

I love B. I don't know what my life would be without this younger but wise and kind human. 

"I need to use the restroom." 

"Okay, we'll come with you." Kynlee tells me. 

The carnival is crowded today. Of course it is, because it's a Saturday. There's a long line for the women's restroom.

"Oh my gooood! I am about to pee myself." This line needs to hurry up.

"It's starting to move Bella." B tells me to try and comfort me. 

I catch a glimpse inside the restroom and see that only one stall is working. No wonder. 

"You know what, fuck it. I am going to the men's restroom." I hurry past the people in between the distance from the men's and women's restroom. 

To my luck, no one is in the guy's restroom. 

Yet.

I am trying to hurry because I really don't want to run into someone in here, that would just be awkward. Or even worse an old pervert. I don't even finish zipping up my pants and just start walking out of the restroom, keeping my head down while I'm buttoning my pants. I wouldn't want to run into someone as I'm walking out of her--

"What the fuck?" I hear a deep, raspy British accent say, as I bump into him.

Oh my goooooood. I would be the one to bump into someone in the men's restroom.

"Oh, sorry." I say without even looking at this guy. Although, I wish I would have. It's not everyday you hear a British accent in America. I smelled this minty and cool scent on this guy as I bump into him. It's kind of heavenly actually.

I see Kynlee and Bria, and they're just staring at me.

"What? Do I have toilet paper on my shoe or something?" I look at the bottoms of my shoes.

"Did you not just see the guy that walked into the restroom? He was fucking hot." Kynlee says through her braces. 

"No, I didn't get to see his face, I was so embarassed cause I bumped into him. But I wish I would have now. Damn it." 

"Wow Bella, that would be you to not notice a cute ass guy, even as you bump into him," B tells me shaking her head.

"Oh well, we might see him around here later or something just point him out if you see him. Or should I just walk back in there?" I gesture to the restroom and stop as if I am about to turn back. 

Kynlee and B both grab me and scream in unison, "NOOO!"

The three of us start laughing and head towards the food trucks to get some food. 

Author's Note: Hi everyone, please comment and vote. What did ya'll think about the first chapter?