You and I, we've always been poetic. and there's nothing more to say.
But lately, you and I, we've been apart, like 3,000 miles apart. And here I am, sitting in some stupid coffee shop where all the white girls don't go to. It's not Starbucks, although its been so long I don't think you remember what that is. What coffee chains do they have over there? Dunkin' Donuts? Or do you just prefer a simple cafe.
I'm reading a book, it's a thriller, I know how much you like those. Remember that time at the library, where you practically forced me to get that mystery book? Well thanks to you, I've become obsessed. It's a really good book, but I wish you were still here so I could share it with you.
I'm wearing makeup today, even though you told me I looked pretty without it. You made me promise to never wear makeup again. But now you're gone, and I'm sorry I broke that promise.
I guess it's just that I have no one to tell me how beautiful I am now that you're no longer with me.
My only friend at school is Abbey, although I can tell by her trembling fingers and shaking leg how awkward it is for her now that you're not here. She doesn't want to be my friend, I know it. and I know she knows I know it. But yet she stays with me anyways, because she misses you. She misses you like I miss you.
When we talked on the phone on tuesday, you didn't know how happy you made me. Although you probably did (you were always such a cheeky boy). We spent hours talking about how life at your new home was; fancy schools, expensive cars, three story houses. I asked you if you could sneak me over to your house and you told me that you'd do it in a heartbeat.
We had it all planned out, I'd save money to buy a plane ticket, fly over to your house, and you'd hide me in your basement, which you mentioned was the size of my own room.
I sip on an iced coffee, it's pretty good, but not as good as your mother's. I bought a bag of animal crackers, too; I can't believe they sell it here. Not expired or stale or anything. At first, I didn't want to buy it because I still remember how we use to buy those giant jars at costco filled to the brim with pink and white crackers. It hurt knowing that we couldn't do our usual traditions together anymore. We use to eat them at my house, in my room, laughing about random things.
I'm only eating these animal crackers without you because I miss you.
Part of me feels like if I ingest a cracker, I can feel you next to me, even though you're not. I feel like your spirit's next to me. The crackers taste the same, sugary and sweet. I even pick off the sprinkles and pop them in my mouth first, just how you use to do it.
By the time I finish my bag of animal crackers, licking off the sweetness from my fingertips, I've already finished my coffee and turned to the very last page of my book. You use to make fun of me because of my slow eating habits, and I use to get annoyed.
Now I don't, but maybe it's because you're not here to make fun of me.
hi again. it's back
