Somewhere Between Heaven and Hell (Sterek) (Destiel)

So am I

Stiles paced the room, trying to decide how to talk to Derek. He knew that if he wasn't careful Derek would shut down and possibly take off on him. He didn't know if Derek just didn't want Stiles to be his mate, or if he was worried Stiles didn't want to be his mate, or maybe it was just Derek's wolf that had feelings for Stiles. He didn't know much about mates but he was sure that it was primarily a wolf thing, so perhaps Derek only saw Stiles attractive in a physical way. 

Before Stiles could come up with a logical explanation there was a knock on the door followed by Derek poking his head in.

"Stiles, we need to talk," Derek's tone was tense.

"Look, I know that sounded bad, I just don't know what is going on with us," Stiles sighed knowing where Derek was going with this.

"Me either," Derek slumped his shoulders.

"Somehow I don't believe you," Stiles crossed his arms. He was frustrated with Derek. Why couldn't Derek just be honest with him? It wasn't fair for Stiles to have to guess Derek's mood and motives when Derek could literally sense everything Stiles was feeling.

"Why not?" Derek frowned.

"You once told me I could tell you anything. I told you you could tell me anything. I've always told you what you wanted to know but you just avoid any topic you're uncomfortable with. You know everything I'm feeling, all the time. I am literally guessing when it comes to you. I ask, that for once, you would just talk to me," Stiles practically begged.

"I do talk to you, Stiles," Derek argued.

"Then tell me why you have been avoiding me since last night. Tell me why you did it if you were going to regret it. Tell me why you regret it."

Derek sighed, "Stiles, I told you I didn't want to mark you. I was careless, I shouldn't have put you in that position. I almost did something that you wouldn't be able to forgive me for."

Stiles clenched his jaw. He wanted Derek to be honest with him, but he just wouldn't.

"Do you trust me?" Stiles asked taking a few steps towards Derek.

"Of course," Derek answered not looking away from Stiles caramel brown eyes.

"Then tell me the truth," Stiles pleaded.

"I am," Derek frowned.

"Damn it, Derek," Stiles swore, "I can't keep doing this with you. What are you afraid of? Rejection? Admitting it? Needing someone other than yourself? What is it?" 

Derek's brows furrowed together even more, "What are you talking about, Stiles?"

"Do you love me?" Stiles asked suddenly.

Derek tensed.

Stiles saw Derek's walls starting to build back up.

"Don't shut down. Please, just talk to me," Stiles reached for Derek's arm.

"Is this your way of telling me last night wasn't meaningless to you?" Derek felt panic building in his chest. If Stiles admitted to having feelings for Derek he feared his wolf would be uncontrollable. 

"Was it to you?" Stiles countered.

Derek looked at Stiles carefully. He smelled only of frustration and impatience, neither gave away what Stiles' feelings on last night were.

Derek's silence only frustrated Stiles more.

"Damn it, Derek, just be honest with me," Stiles snapped throwing his hands up in frustration.

"What do you want me to say Stiles? If I say it did mean something then that makes things awkward, If I say it didn't mean something then I upset you. You want me to be honest with you, but you won't like what you hear," Derek growled in frustration.

Derek's answer did nothing to help Stiles' confusion. Stiles decided if he wanted an answer he would have to force it out of the stubborn alpha.

Derek sensed Stiles scent change but before he could place the emotion Stiles' lips were on his.

Stiles' hands were gripping Derek's face. 

Derek's own hands instinctively wrapped around Stiles' waist. 

Stiles took it as an invitation to press himself against the werewolf. 

Derek growled quietly as Stiles' body melded to his. The kiss grew heated and Stiles' hands found their way to Derek's hair. 

Derek felt his wolf pushing through. 

"Stiles," Derek spoke into the kiss.

"Hmm?" Stiles hummed sliding one hand up Derek's shirt, gripping the alpha's back muscles.

"My wolf...I'm shifting," Derek panted against Stiles' lips.

"Don't care." Stiles mumbled as he pushed into Derek harder causing the werewolf to step back a bit from the force.

"I could hurt you." Derek said pulling away from the kiss a bit.

"I trust you," Stiles reconnected their lips before Derek could argue.

Derek thought about the last time Stiles had told Derek he trusted him, Derek had almost marked him. The reminder made Derek push Stiles back.

"Stiles, we can't do this."

Stiles hands fell from Derek as the alpha stepped further back.

"I'm gonna ask you something, Derek, and I need you to be completely honest with me."

Derek tensed as he smelled determination and anxiety coming off of Stiles,

"Don't do this..." Derek pleaded quietly. Whatever Stiles was about to ask was going to change their relationship, he just knew it.

"I have to know," Stiles dropped his eyes to the ground. "Is your wolf the only one in love with me?"

Derek frowned slightly, "w-what?"

"Your wolf is in love with me because I'm your mate, but you're not in love with me at all are you?" Stiles watched carefully as Derek processed what Stiles had just said.

Derek's jaw dropped. He knew? How long had he known? Who had told him? Had anyone even told him or had he figured it out? Of course he figured it out, it was Stiles. How did he feel about it? He wasn't giving off an obvious scent other than frustration, with a hint of anxiety.

"You...when..." Derek struggled to form a sentence.

"I found your notebook this morning. That's why I'm your trigger cause your wolf wants me," Stiles waited for Derek to say something.

"I'm sorry."

Stiles frowned. Why was Derek apologizing?

"You can't help it," Stiles Shrugged. "What I don't understand is why you stayed. I tried to make you leave, you could have been free of me, so why stay?"

Derek frowned sadly at the hunter, "I never want to be 'free of you', I care about you too much. And not just because you're...my mate," Derek spoke the last two words quietly, as if he didn't want Stiles to hear.

"Right, because you're my alpha," Stiles rolled his eyes. He felt uncomfortable suddenly. Derek had never denied his wolf being the only part of him that was in love with Stiles.

"No, not because I'm your alpha," Derek disagreed, speaking quietly again. His eyes dropped to the floor.

"Then why?" Stiles cocked his head slightly.

Derek looked back up his sage green eyes meeting Stiles' whiskey brown.

"You're gonna hate me for this, but you already know half of it..." Derek sighed, taking a single step towards Stiles, "Yes, my wolf is in love with you, and so am I."

*AN*
Here you go! Let me know what you think. 😊