Chapter I - Compilation

                Some people think love is just a game. Some people believe that destiny is true. Some people changes for no reason at all. The world is full of wide variety of people, which somehow not all of us know each other that well. Even the stars in heaven cannot predict what kind of person we would be when we grow up. One thing is for sure, He had made plans already.

                Love is happiness, most of us think it is. Totoo naman rin kasi, kahit saang angulo natin tignan, kapag in-love tayo, we feel happy, am I right? Of course I am. Maybe everyone had been in-loved atleast once in our lives, I guess. Bago maging pari ang isang pari, siguro naman nagkaroon rin ‘yun ng puppy love, ‘di  ba? Even ‘yung mga taong tumatanda ng walang asawa, siguro naman noon nagkaroon sila ng karelasyon, but somehow maybe it didn’t work out well kaya nadepressed at na-trauma. Hahaha! So silly of me to think of some things like that, but whatever my conclusions are, I surely believe that love has touched all of us, no exception of who or what. Little things even know how to love, yes, things. A bee can always love a flower. A bird can always love a tree. Minsan nga ‘diba ‘yung iba sa atin sinasabi pa na mahal natin ang isang bagay kasi maganda ito, or it brings us benefits, ‘diba, ‘diba? Many girls says they love their new shoes, even though majority of the boys really doesn’t know why. At ‘yung mga lalaki naman ngayong generation, most of us just loves to play computer games. Kaya nauuso ‘yung mga korni na kanta tulad ng Mas Mahal Mo Pa Ang DoTA at DoTA o Ako, so lame don’t you think? Maybe because it’s just what we people want that makes us loving these things. For real, what does love means? Kahit tignan ng isang mangmang ang salitang “love” sa dictionary I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t understand. At kahit na mayroong pinakamatalinong tao sa buong mundo, kung walang effort at affection ‘yung taong ‘yun sa sarili niyang mundo, hindi rin siguro niya mauunawaan kung ano ang pagmamahal. Yeah, effort and affection is part of it, just a part of it, I guess. I know for sure not everyone undestands what love is, and knowing and understanding are two different words. I may know some things, but I certainly wouldn’t understand all of them. Tama ba? Well story ko naman ‘to so ok lang hahaha! Why love? Why love? Two words, two sentences, but with different meanings. Bakit pagmamahal? Hindi ba pwedeng ibang topic nalang? Well, come to think of it, if everyone doesn’t love what they do, would you think they would have a good outcome? Of course not. I wanna start from love, because I love what I do, and to love is what I do most of the time. Bakit pa magmahal? Madalas ang tao kapag nawalan ng karelasyon, they tend to find a new one, sometimes expecting that someone better would find them, tama? Minsan pa nga kahit ‘yung mga taong walang karelasyon, they tend to love someone even though sometimes that someone doesn’t love them back, right? It’s just natural, I guess, to love, and to be loved. Naaalala ko pa, gradeschool ako noong may isang teacher na nag-segway ng discussion para lang mag-share ng nalaman niya kinagabihan. Sabi niya, no man is an island, tapos pinainterpret samin, in our own words daw. Tarantado ‘diba? Ang bata pa namin noon para sa malalim na pananaw sa buhay, ‘yun yung nasa isip ko. ‘yung mga nagmamagaling kong kaklase, isa isa nang sumagot. Sabi nung isa, kasi raw lagi tayong may kasama kaya imposibleng maging mapag-isa ang isang tao. Swerte siya, lagi niyang kasama ang mga magulang niya. ‘Yung isa naman, ang sabi hindi niya laging nakakasama ‘yung mga magulang niya kasi nasa ibang bansa, pero kahit papaano kasama niya ‘yung yaya niya kaya nasabi rin niyang hindi siya pwedeng maging mag-isa. Marami rin naisagot na weird ideas ‘yung ibang mga kaklase ko, and when it finally came to me, I really don’t know why I said those things. Dalawang beses akong tinanong ng teacher namin bago ko nasagot, at ang sabi ko pa, “teacher hindi po imposibleng may taong walang kasama sa buhay.” Yeah I told her that. With our age gap, she doesn’t know what to responce, and the topic was changed. You see, sometimes if you think so hard, the things inside our head seems to exaggerate, pero if we make things simple, things just works out fine. Ang laking tulong nung sagot ko na ‘yun, kung hindi dahil dun na-stuck na kami sa walang kwentang topic na ‘yun. No man is an island, ang sabi nung taong ‘yun, pero nobody’s perfect ‘diba? So maling mali na magjudge ‘yung person na ‘yun agad agad na as if lahat ay alam niya. No man is an island? Impossible. Even an island is an island, I know somewhere out there, one in a billion, there is a man who is very lonely and afraid to explore his own world. So, mali yata ‘yung sinabi ko nung una, na lahat ay na-inlove na atleast once in their life? No, I don’t want to get wrong, ‘cause I’d start this over again, hahaha! Maybe that island man is lonely, maybe he’s afraid to explore his world, but take note, he lives, wherever he is I surely know he loves who he is and what He has given him. Even in the simplest things, there is love. Even in the farthest places, love exists. How did I know this, did I ever know the world around me? Of course I don’t know the world, but I know my world more than anyone in this planet, and I know how the things in this world go as they supposed to be. Love is happiness, it is also sadness. Why is that so? Ever been broken hearted? Yeah, siguro napapamura ka pa minsan kapag ‘yung mga kaibigan mo pinag-uusapan ‘yung kayo dati. “Tang ina niyo naman change topic tayo pare,” o kaya “Ano ba girl get over it! Magmumuka ka lang tanga kasi pinapaasa ka lang niya.” Uy ngumiti, hahaha! When someone got dumped by a guy or a girl, I’m pretty sure it hurts a lot more kesa sa gulpi ng tatay mo nung minura mo siya nung lasing ka. A heart is not complete when it misses something. I remember, when I was young, this certain teacher is a friend of my best friend, and everyday after classes she teaches my best friend advance lessons so that my bff can surely get high grades. Once I visited him, and our teacher was there. She told us that the heart is divided into 4. The blood comes through a big vein or whatsoever, then it enters in that four chambers, then comes out through a big vein or whatsoever shit it’s called. I also recall after she taught us that, I told my bff that the heart can release 4 great feelings, anger,lust, hatred, and love. He asked, anger and hatred, aren’t they the same? I said no, of course not, you can always be angry at someone without hating him, and you can always hate someone without getting angry at him, literally people cannot execute those two feelings at the same time most of the time. So I told him, I guess when one of it is missing, the heart cannot be happy, that’s when it feels sad. He also asked, why is there lust? “Pare tang inang ‘to ang libog! HAHAHA!” Sabi niya. Never been aroused in your life? I thought, hahaha! Somehow I was right. When I fell in-love with this girl when I was in 1styr hs, I felt all those four. I felt love when we’re together, when we’re alone, aba alam na, haha! When she said she doesn’t want to be with me anymore I felt angry at her, and finally when we broke up, I hated her the whole year. But now it was just a happy memory, yes I am happy it happened, why? Because it is what my heart would want, to feel how true it is. To feel what they say in the movies. Minsan, naaalala ko rin nung bata pa ako, laging mga fairytales ‘yung paborito ko, syempre cartoons kasi, and limited lang ‘yung mga mapapanood ko, majority pa ng mga tao sa bahay noon mga babae. Almost all of the fairytales I’d watched back then have happy endings. Now I am at the stage of life where I can know what’s best for me and what’s not. When I think of happy endings, I come to think of this girl. She made me feel complete for a short amount of time. Recently we broke up for no reason at all, but I was happy it ended that way, atleast it ended. When I remember those good times we’ve had, I really want to cry but I can’t. I got over it literally, but in reality I didn’t. When we were still together I surely wished and hoped so hard that she is the best part of my world, the princess in my story, the one who’d make it all happily ever after, but she didn’t. Instead she left me clueless. I don’t know why, I never want to know why, because I know for a fact that I felt love when I was in her arms. Love, lust, anger, and hatred. So, ever wonder how a perfect love would sound like? Napaisip rin ako, kasi kung true love na ito, edi wala nang happy ending lahat? Based on my story kasi diba, pag naramdaman mo itong apat, masaya nga puso mo wala ka namang karelasyon. Awkward right? Love may be complicated most of the times, so why love, why love? No man is an island, impossible. Love has no happy endings, also impossible. To make things clearer, love is not about getting those 4 feelings and losing the one you want. It’s about appreciating the fact that it happened, and even though times would seem so hard, you know inside you that you can never let go of this person. Maswerte ka kapag naramdaman mo ito, ‘yung feeling na parang ang bigat ng problema mo, mabigat rin ‘yung problema niya, at nag-away pa kayo, at sa sobrang galit niya gusto na niyang iwanan ka, pero nagsorry ka pa rin dahil naglet-go ka ng pride. You maybe felt lust, love, anger and hatred when things go beyond the borders, but because you know what it feels like, you never let go of the one you love the most. A man who is an island, loves being himself, and may not change because he loves what he’s doing, loving what he is and accepting who he really is. A bee can always love another flower, but it may only love flowers, because it loves what it does, collecting sweet things or something. A bird may love a tree, because it gives it shade for its nest. And even though maybe the times were hard, just like the hot sun stretching every afternoon or the vast rain we experience once a month at least, the bird still loves the trees. Maybe, if we exert effort in what we do, and show that we appreciate the outcome, whatever the outcome may be, we would feel the same way the little things felt. True love doesn’t always means happy ending, but it may be ended with a happy story. Love is happiness, if we felt what love is. Love is sadness, when we feel that we’re lacking out of it. Love is an island, if we believe in ourselves that we are. Love is plenty of joy, if we find ourselves in our own world. Love is everything, love everything.