pandora's box

outerspace

imagine a small black aura
floating around your body
like a satellite in its orbit around the earth
but unlike a satellite, it's not just present
it separates you from the rest of the world.
it shields you from the good stuff
& prevents it from bringing the happiness it normally would.
it dims your ability to appreciate positive things
& minimises your tolerance and acceptance towards negative emotions and events.
and over time it grows
it might start as a tiny bundle of darkness
but then, a few months later it has already grown
into something huge, intimidating that is,
sort of clinging to you
that has its claws smashed into your flesh
like a predator
and sometimes it's slowly tearing you apart
it also seems to be extracting your strength,
your energy and your very own will to live
leaving you worn out and feeling dull,
like an empty shell.
& if all that continues for long enough
the darkness starts to merge into you
& it gets harder to tell which part of you is the real you
you feel like you're losing yourself, fading away
becoming invisible.
you're falling into a black hole, towards the point of no return.
& nobody notices, because it's all in your head.

that's what living with depression is like