Thoughts & More Thoughts

Hello. My name is Emily Houston. I live in London, Great Britain. I'm not sure why, but with every thought I think, it just keeps leading to other thoughts. I'd ask why you are right here reading this story, but I'd rather keep my mind guessing. It's what creates suspense. Or maybe even cliffhangers, if you had told me half of your entire sentence, I'd be delighted to tell you my guesses the following day. One option would be because you are bored, because usually people seem to have nothing better to do than to be on their phones. What would happen to this world without technology? What if there was no electricity? What would us, humans, do? We'd all stay rooted to the ground and panic. What if there was no ground? What if the world would have ended in the split second the lights went out? We wouldn't know unless it truly happened. Who's going to tell the next generation of life what technology was like back then? Who will tell the next generation of life the feeling of the ending world crumbling beneath the soles of your very feet? How do you know all these things? That's why I like guessing. You make a list of answers you think might be true or may become reality.

So there I was, lying under the sun on the fresh cut grass, on an absolutely perfect spring afternoon, along with my adorable pet dog, Coco. The wind blew in such a fascinating way, I could not understand the pattern that it displayed around the world.

I glanced at the grass and wondered what the world would end up like without grass. Yes of course, the first thing that came to your mind was a dry and brown world, but my first thought was death. Death would be written everywhere. Skulls of cows not only in the deserts anymore, but cow skulls everywhere. Without grass, the herbivores would not be able to survive. When there aren't any more herbivores, what would the carnivores eat? Sure, there are omnivores, but once the carnivores and omnivores finish off each other, what would be left of the very last animal? What would be left for us humans? Nothing. The world would be nothing else but a ghost town, in the very last glimpse in our eyes that we could catch.

Up above me were the clouds. The clouds had fascinating shapes. If clouds are just water vapor coming from water bodies, how do they end up in such amazing and unique shapes? Is there a painter or designer from above the clouds? Changing and moulding their interesting shapes? But if he were a painter, why wouldn't he change the colors of the clouds instead of making them plain white? Or is it that he ran out of paint 2000 years ago? Did the skies ever change color back then? Were the clouds ever pink? If not, then why do they say clouds are pink? I'm sure you're probably saying it's because of the famous carnival treat, cotton candy, but it does not specifically mean the clouds look like cotton candy. Do you ever see clouds with a paper below stating the company that had made the delicious sugary treat? Of course not! But what if you were flying high enough to catch the tiniest piece of "Cloud Candy"? Why didn't they ever invent paper strong enough to carry people? If someone did, we could all make paper airplanes for ourselves and we could fly wherever we wanted to without having to pay a fortune. By fortune, what do people mean? I assumed they meant money at first, but then I read in a book that the word 'fortune' came from the Chinese, as they were trading. So if fortune meant trading goods, wouldn't that mean that we could give the receiver the item that he desired? What if he just desired a fish? Would that mean he would trade his entire house for an item he would desire? Which meant fish was related to fortune? That's another Chinese symbol for money. We never really know where our money has travelled. It could have gone from Slovakia to Iceland, followed by New Jersey and then Russia, etc.

I was instantly distracted by a rather tall lady, decorated with branded items from head to toe. She sashayed past by me and gave me a dirty look. I've always wondered why people think so odd. What is the difference when you buy expensive branded things and non-branded cheaper and more adorable things? Is it to show that you have more money than the average human beings? Or is it because you have nothing better to do than to spend money? You never know, the people that buy this book might just be very insecure. They only want people to think they're rich, when actually they're suffering inside, drowning in the big ocean of debts, just waiting to be saved by someone's opinion on their new Burberry coat or Prada handbag. Why do these brands sell it at a high price? For profits. Not just any profit, a huge profit. With every dollar we pay, the company paid one cent to receive the products from a market. That is why I think branded things are pointless. They were never branded when they were made anyway.

Before I was distracted by the proud lady, I mentioned something about clouds? Yes I did. Does that mean in the dry lands where there is no water to be found, there are absolutely no clouds at all? Would that possibly mean that when a husband says to the wife, "Honey, it's such a lovely day, no clouds at all!" , there is no water around that area, but if there was no water, there wouldn't be grass, so how would it be a lovely day? Just because there was a clear sky? What if there was a perfect place with birds chirping and shade to have a picnic with the one you care about, but it was a cloudy day? Would you still have said it was a lovely day? I won't ever understand the logic of average people. Maybe their logic is that when there are clouds, it probably meant a bad day. So that's where the quote 'feeling blue' came from. Movies have corrupted our minds with the thought that clouds meant a sad and bad day, but then again, how can we predict the future? No one can, unless you're a physic. And if you are, id like to ask, how will the world end up like 200 thousand years later? Will people still act the same?

Why are some infinities bigger than others? Were we all pre-made and set to live for a certain time? Was it all planned from the very existence of ourselves? We would never know.

As my mind went on and on, the perfect figure walked past me. Was he perfect for real or perfect to me? Maybe it's just infatuation. But it's okay, said my mind, it's ok to describe his perfection now. His hair flipped perfectly on his face, his beautiful hazel brown eyes sparkled in the daylight, with those amazing features. He smiled at me, and the butterflies in me started to flutter and whir. But then again, I might never see him again. Like celebrities and their fans, everyone's just competing for a love they won't receive, unless they're destined or extremely lucky. My thoughts gone wilder. Breaking my focus on my own thoughts, he broke the ice with a simple and plain hi, along with a crooked smile. I stuttered. Then I thought: good impressions are the most important. If I said a plain hello, he'd think I'm a rather serious average British teenage girl, if I said hey, he'd think I'm ending up as only just a friend, if I said well hello there, he'd think I'm somehow flirting with him, and he'd get all protective and tough, so I decided to just say hi back. A simple, gentle and plain "hi". He laughed sat down next to me on the perfectly fresh cut grass. We started to talk.

As the day grew dark, as dawn turned to dusk, the sky turned blue, the perfect blue, with stars, mixed among the perfect background. The moon, oh how I loved the moon, I would look at it, and my grandma can hopefully see it too, wherever she is. I found out that me and the boy, had a lot in common. We loved to think. We loved the environment. The only difference is that I take things very personal and serious, while he just thinks life was a joke to laugh at in the end. That made my smile fade faintly. The stars danced in the blue sky, twinkling above us. It was peaceful, quiet and mild. His hand slipped into mine as I stargazed. I turned my head to face his beautiful persona, and I wondered: what should I do? If I kept quiet, meant I was ok. If I went closer, meant I was too desperate.. If I stand up and lecture him, he'd never talk to me again, so I just kept quiet. Dylan. Oh Dylan. He walked me all the way home from the park, and planted a tiny kiss on my cheek, and I floated upstairs.

Once I got back home, I jumped into my bed and refused to fall asleep, so my mind continued to think. All those teenage girls that get their first kiss from a boy, would usually make them jump and squeal all about it on the way home and to their friends ASAP, but I was different, I wanted my love story to be different. I didn't want anyone to know. Not my friends, not my family, not anyone. I wanted our love to be a secret, if there was any love anyway. I hope there was, I hope he felt the magic I felt, I hope he wants to meet up again tomorrow at the park and eat some gelato, despite the calories and sugar and fattening substances the italian man throws into the mixing bowl. As I lay there in my pj's in my purple-covered bed, I went up to the attic of my home, and stole the Christmas lights. I hung them all around my room, on the ceiling, on the walls, around my closet and around my bed. So that every night I would remember the night that Dylan Ryan had held my hand, under the bright stars.