You try to remember the exact day, the exact hour, minute, second that you saw Scott in a different light. When you truly started seeing him as anything other than a friend, a best friend at that. You try to think, was it something he said? Maybe even a look he gave that caused you to do what you did.
That caused you to show up at his place, in the dead of night, to wrap your arms around his neck and to end up fucking him that very night.
That's way in the past though, you've been seeing each other for roughly a few months, Scott is sweet, accommodating to your needs. Basically, everything you want, so, while he's fucking you into the leather of his backseat it's not that another thought is on your mind. Why the fuck are you just not into it? Of course, the first thought is obvious "you're moving on, growing up. Getting tired" of course, you don't believe that.
But, as you squirm in the seat trying to get some reaction out, it's pointless.
"What?" He breathes into your neck, before carefully lifting his head, "What's wrong?"
And god you don't have the heart to tell him, but realistically you have no choice.
"Scott, I uh, I'm not feeling it"
He moves immediately but you can see hurt and confusion evident. You can feel the embarrassment not only radiating from him but you as well. You sit up, back pressed to the door, arms across your chest. There's so much space between you both.
"Was it something I -?"
"No, no. I'm just not into it tonight I guess, a lot on my mind"
He leaves it at that, and in the awkward silence you both dress and he drops you off outside of your house. You say goodnight but nothing more, it feels like you're already growing apart.
It's a few months later that you discover why you felt so distant that night. Over the course of the space you both had given one another, you'd come to find that vanilla sex just wasn't your thing anymore. Your friends had shown you the beauty of porn one night at a sleepover, all completely drunk you went from what you would personally rate "good" to "completely obnoxious" regardless, that night led you to finding yourself so to speak. And you had.
"Scott? I was hoping we could meet up tonight. If you're interested"
When you hear silence from your phone you grow worried, you hadn't exactly spoken about that night, you'd both chosen to ignore it and move on so as not to face what you both dreaded the most. A break-up.
"Tonight? Sure. Where?"
"Mine or your place. Whatever suits you better" you laugh, "Why I would be calling to hang out at your place is beyond me but-" you laugh again. You're rambling.
"Ok, yours, my mom is in and I think it'd be better in private. Your parents work late to so....."
"Ok, mine. Tonight. See you then."
You end the call, falling down onto your bed, phone held to your chest. Tonight, we going to be the night. And by the night obviously, you mean trying your best to not have a repeat of last time.
Within a few hours, you've done your best to get, "dressed up" in other words you're not in your PJ's for a start. Your mother leaves and you do your best to act natural and not give away that fact you've invited your boyfriend to more or less, fuck his brains out.
When Scott turns up any tension you had expected dissipates at the door as you invite him in and lead him immediately upstairs.
"You don't want to talk?" Scott grabs your hand, stopping you as you enter the bedroom.
