I'm not sure why I did it. In all honesty, I'm not quite sure why I did, or do, anything. You see, on the contrary to what people say, I do care about what my friends think of me. Which is why I started messing around with the drugs. Yeah I know. Stupid me.
It started with the small stuff. A little bit of weed or nicotine never hurt anyone. I'd go off with my buds and we'd light up a J or two. Or three, or five, or ten. Hell, after the first two, we lost count. I wanted that I'm-Up-In-The-Clouds feeling to stay with me,forever.
Sooner than later though, my friend's friend of another friend (or something like that), decided that it was time to change things up a bit. He brought in some 'Shrooms and pills for us to have a go with. Ya see, I was perfectly happy with my joints and cigarettes. Sure, it was starting to get boring, but it was the only thing in the world that could ever make me feel like I belonged. Christ, I was wrong.
After the first or second "trip" as they call it, I wanted more and more. I wanted to "expand my horizon", or some sappy shit like that. So, I met up with my friend's friend of another friend, again. This time I tried coke. It burned, but it felt amazing; better than anything I'd ever experimented with. Okay, so maybe it had a little competition with the 'Shrooms, but I didn't care. All I wanted to do was get high, day after day after day. That's exactly what I did. I'd go out to my car while everyone was in class, and I'd snort a line. If I couldn't get to my car, I'd take my happy ass to the bathroom and do it there.
Not 2 months after I'd started doing these things, my teachers began to notice a difference in my "persona" and my grades. They decided to hold a meeting with my parents and I. Boy, were they thrilled. Not only were they thrilled, but they were crushed when they realized that their perfect son was on drugs.
"So Dereck, we were notified by your teachers that your grades are dropping and that you miss random classes during the day for no reason. Andrea and I have been called in for a damned meeting. Care to explain that?" I sniffed nonchalantly and shook my head. "Nope." His eyes stared into mine for a moment or two before he looked away. "Fine."
Long story short, I went to the meeting. Might I add, I was trippin' balls too, which apparently didn't help my case at all. I was expelled that night. I never plan on going back, either.
A month or so later, I found myself craving more. Something....better. So I went back to my supplier, and I found it. Crystal. Ice. Meth. Whatever you want to call it. The first bowl was all it took to get me hooked. At the snap of my fingers, I had scored some and I was on my way home.
I had pulled into my driveway at midnight, safe and sound. Even though I was high as a kite, I managed to stumble my way up to my room. As I laid there, I let the tide of emotions and nerves rack my surface.
Another month or so went by before I made one of the biggest mistakes in my life: I tried pills, licquor, meth, and coke. All in one fucking hour. By the time I had realized what I had done, it was too late. Either one of my parents would find me, or I'd be dead. It sounds pretty dramatic when I say it like this, but that's the way it was. And I was scared as hell.
~~~~~~~~~
I didn't mean to overdose. It just sort of happened. I got carried away and experimented with too many things at once. They told me that I popped dirty on everything they had tested me for. Big surprise. I had known I would though. But the one thing that surprised me the most were my parents. They weren't sad or crushed. They were horrified. Horrified enough to disown my ass and send me to my uncle's shack, so I could get clean. You see, I was actually okay about the fact that I would be spending all of my time sober now. What really confused me, was WHY my parents had disowned me.
"We're sending you to your Uncle Steve's place." My mother chirped as she stood against the hospital door's frame.
"Okay...?"
"You won't be coming back at all. I just- I cannot have a son who is going out and doing God Knows What. Do you understand?"
I swallowed tentatively and turned my head toward her. Before I could even ask why, she had shut the door with a brisk 'snap' and was walking towards my bed.
"I will NOT have a child who has done drugs. Your father and I have"- blah,blah,blah. Something about having a ten year reputation ruined. Yeah, I didn't pay too much attention to her speech. I just rolled over, closed my eyes, and started counting sheep. A minute or two went by before she sighed and walked out, shutting the door with another short 'snap'. Only when my room became silent again, did I let myself cry.
