Seven cups of wine, the sweet smell of vanilla, and the texture of a worn-out cashmere sweater. Those are the things that changed my life forever.
-
It was New Year's. I was at a party. Hell, I don't even know who's party. My sister brought me as a guest. It was crowded, loud, and I was tired of waiting for that ball to drop.
This is when I'd start fresh, stop drinking, and take control, but I had no control. It sucked.
I sighed, pouring myself more to drink, sitting alone in the kitchen of some rich guy's house, listening to a bunch of people singing drunkly at the top of their lungs.
"Twenty more minutes," the newscaster on the television cooed. I rolled my eyes. Twenty more minutes to what? Another yet full of bullshit. I downed several cups of wine, staring into the wooden patterns covering the table.
"Don't get drunk." I kept repeating those very words in my head over and over. I can hold my liquor pretty darn well, but I can't go overboard. But I couldn't get drunk now. I needed to change.
Suddenly, I heard a voice. It was calling me from afar. I didn't look up. It got closer. I heard running. The running of more than one set of feet. I was curious, so I looked up. It was a group of girls. I didn't know these people, yet they knew my name. Creepy, honestly. They told me to join the party and they expected Yoora's brother to be more rowdy. I laughed and asked them why'd they'd assume such a thing.
The stunt they pulled next was insane. The act of tugging my arm and yanking me out of my seat, infuriated me. But I had to remember, these girls were probably drunk. I went along with their charade and flashed a fake smile. They pulled me to the part of the house that was filled with flashing lights and loud music. It wasn't the type of music I listen to, so to me, it was just noise.
Standing in the middle of these girls as they danced, brought me back to the club scene. I put all of that behind me. I put everything I enjoyed behind me after I made my boyfriend my ex.
It's a long story, but I'll make it short.
Summer of 12'. Bright sunny Tuesday. A clean schedule. No predictions of rain.
Great. Well at least, that's how it started off.
I called him. Well, Do Kyungsoo. My ex, and we planned a date. I said I'll pick you at four and he said okay. It was eleven at the time.
Two hours later I get a text saying things such as, the date's off, I got called in at work, and I'm sorry. I texted him back saying alright, it's fine.
Then I decide to go out by myself.
So, I'm walking, right? I pass a restaurant. A four star one, that you have to make reservations to. I see someone I know. Someone who should be working. My boyfriend. With someone else. They were leaning over the table, gazing at each other. I wasn't going to let myself get pissed. It's not like I loved him. I did like him, but not that much. Now I know why I never let myself get close to him. I wanted to settle it in a mature way, but did I really?
I marched into the building, ignoring the man at the front, protesting my entrance. Kyungsoo caught sight of me, his eyes wide, "Ch-Chanyeol! What brings you here?"
I was done with his bullshit so I told him off, ended it, and left. It was simple. Like my life. Simple.
From that day, I gave up. I didn't speak to anyone unless it was necessary. You'd think it be hard to live like that, but after everything, it really wasn't. People told me to stop being a loser and move on. I got cheated on, so what? They had a point, but that's not how I felt. So I started drinking.
